______________________________ | ___ _______ ___ | | / _ \/ __/ _ \/ _ \ | | / // / _// , _/ ___/ | | /____/___/_/|_/_/ | | | | PROUDLY | | ....PRESENTS.... | | | | ...THE HAUS SHOW REPORT... | | VOLUME 2 | | | | DATE: August 5th, 2011 | | WRITTEN BY: Tyler Terrapin | |____________________________| The second DERP card ever certainly brought in a larger crowd, and the contingent even showed up earlier that last week for sure! The BBQ cookout outside the DERP Arena even ran out of cole slaw as a side for the grub, as well as kraut for the dogs!!! No one seemed to mind, though, considering how long the lines were for the DERP merchindise booth! Debuting this week, are two new shirts: one for the NERD POWER COLLECTIVE, and the other for the PERFECTLY PERFECT DUO! And, unlike last week... the show didn't start on time, right at 7pm... ...it started at a quarter after!!!! At 7, there was an announcement for the audience to take their seats as the show was going to being shortly! Some heeded the warning, but most did their best to get another beer... failing to make it back in time as the action begins... ... as MC Frontalot's "Final Boss" plays over the PA system as the crowd begins to laugh, cheer and jeer, as the hapless duo known as The Nerd Power Collective walk out to the ring. Player 1 is clapping his hands and cheering to the audience. Player 2 just slowly walks, head down and shoulders slumped forward. After a short time, both men roll into the ring. Player 1 grabs the microphone from the announcer, and begins to address the crowd.] PLAYER 1: Tanacho! Baloney! Last time we met in this ring, you ambushed us! You attacked us while we were unarmed! You may not understand such things, but know this! You besmirched our reputation! You sullied our honor! And for this...tonight...in this arena here...YOU...WILL...PAYYYYYYYYYY! PLAYER 2: ...what did we talk about earlier? PLAYER 1: Umm...[scratches his head]...we talked about how girls sit down to pee because they don't have weenies like boys do! PLAYER 2: no...after that. PLAYER 1: Um...you mean about our inside voices? PLAYER 2: yes. everyone can hear you. no need to shout. PLAYER 1: But...I can't help it! I just get so excited! I mean, we're the heroes of destiny! How cool is that? PLAYER 2: ...look...Tanacho...baloney...you beat us last time. and we didn't like that. so this is why we called you back out here tonight. but...look in your heart. we're still not ready. we haven't been able to train...and we still haven't leveled up. so i ask you as a man- let's just have a good match...and go easy on us. PLAYER 1: Please? PLAYER: We haven't even reached a save point yet!!! [And then... "Big Balls" by AC/DC hits, as "Nuts" Baloney and Masnoto Tanacho come out with the fans booing loud and clear! Both men have chairs in the hands, which causes NPC to take a few steps back. "Nuts" gets handed a mic from a DERP stage hand.] "NUTS": First... You come out here and act like you know what they fuck yer doing. Then you get yer ass _WHOOPED_! Next... Next you decide that you want a rematch, and now... Now you're asking us to take an _EASY_ on you? [Baloney Masnoto shake their head.] "NUTS": You guys really are a joke.... BUT FINE! If you want me to take an easy on you, I will... [BOO GOES THE CROWD!] "NUTS":...if by easy you mean instead of beating you to a bloody pulp here with these chairs... I'LL JUST BE USING MY FIST!!! [WE LOVE VIOLENCE POP as the DART~! students make their way to the ring, not putting down the chairs as the enter the ring. They fake a swing at the NPC. nearly causing Player Two to faint before the duo dumps the chairs to the outside.] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | OPENING MATCH | | | | NERD POWER COLLECTIVE | | vs | | "NUTS" BALONEY and MASNOTO TANACHO | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* "Nuts" and Player One start the match off. Player one struts out to the center of the ring and calls for a test of strength! Baloney laughs, and accepts the challenge... instantly bending Player one's hands backwards, so his fingers touch his wrist! He howls a "Nuts" drops his right hand and throws Player One across the ring with a hip toss! Player One scrambles to his feet quickly, and comes charging at "Nuts", who ducks the clothesline attempt. Player One bounces off the ropes, and comes charging at "Nuts"... who catches him with a military press... and drops him flat on the mat! "Nuts" pumps his fists in the air pleased with himself before going for the pin attempt... 1.... KICKOUT! Player One gets the shoulder up rather quickly, which causes "Nuts" to just smile. He pulls Player One to his feet, and whips him hard into his own corner... and then beckons for Player Two to go ahead and tag in! Player Two looks like he's about to shit himself as Player One makes the tag.... but Player Two won't get inside the ring! The ref starts the count, but "Nuts" has had enough. He pushes the ref outta the way and pulls Player Two right into the ring... by his hair!?!? "Nuts" drags Player Two the whole way over to the DART~! students corner, and tags in Masnoto Tanacho. Masnoto kicks Player Two right in the gut, lifts him up high into the air for a power bomb, spins a circle a few times before dropping Player Two with a thunderous Sitout power bomb pinning combination! 1..... KICKOUT! It's Player Two's turn to kick out with authority! Masnoto clubs Player Two with hard forearm shots, as "Nuts" keeps himself busy on the outside... by sliding in a chair to the ring! Masnoto picks it up, and goes right over to Player Two, who is busy getting to his feet. Masnoto just winds up and.... CRRRRAAACCKKKKKK! He just lays Player Two out with the chair shot! Masnoto rolls Player Two over... 1..... PLAYER ONE GOES FOR THE BREAKUP... 2.... ..AND GETS CLOTHESLINED TO HELL AND BACK FOR HIS EFFORTS! BUT PLAYER TWO KICKS OUT!!! Somehow Player Two kicks out as Player one rolls outside the ring. The fans cheer, really amazed by the Nerd Power Collective's resolve! Masnoto gets to his feet and shrugs, deciding to let "Nuts" take back over. But as Masnoto exits the ring, he doesn't stay on the apron either! He begins to dig under the ring and slides in... a TABLE!!! In the ring, "Nuts" drops a few elbows to Player Two's chin, before deciding to up the chair in the center of the ring! "Nuts" whips Player Two into the ropes, he bounces back... DROP TOE HOLD ON THE CHAIR! The crowd cheers purely for the violent impact of Player Two's head bouncing off the forgiving steel! Instead of going for the cover, "Nuts" tags in Masnoto but doesn't leave the ring, electing to set up the table, as Masnoto begins to stomp Player Two. Boo's begin to ring out, as the fans know the DART~! students are just rubbing it in now, that they could end it if they wanted too. In fact, the even begin to chant... "N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C!" "N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C!" "N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C!" "Nuts" has the table set up near the one corner and just laugh at the fans chanting for the nerds. Masnoto has pulls Player Two to his feet. "Nuts" goes and holds Player Two in place with a sleeper hold, as Masnoto bounces of the ropes. He comes running back, and Baloney releases right at the last second..... _ROARING ELBOW_! Player Two is out, but "Nuts" isn't done. He kicks Player Two in the gut, and puts his head between his legs.... BUT PLAYER ONE OUTTA NOWHERE! HE LEAPS OVER THE ROPES ONTO "NUTS" BACK! THE CROWD GOES NUTS!!!! "N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C!" "N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C!" "N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C!" Baloney tries and tries to rip Player One off his back. That doesn't work. He then tries to just straight buck him off, and that doesn't work. Then "Nuts" backs into the corner, near the table... AND JUST FALLS BACKWARDS, SLAMMING PLAYER ONE THROUGH THE TABLE! The NPC chants stops dead, the arena falling silent as Baloney covers Player One, and Masnoto covers Player Two... 1... 2...... 3!!!!!! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | WINNER: "Nuts" Baloney | | Masnoto Tanacho | | | | FINISH: Table Spot/Roaring Elbow | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* The crowd rains down jeers as "Nuts" and Masnoto hug inside the ring, and then make their way back, jawing to the DERP faithful the entire way. The DERP stage hands begin to clear the ring of table debris and dented chairs, also in the process helping the Nerd Power Collective to their feet. The duo refuses assistance, and walks out of the ring on their own accord. Scattered applause ring out, giving NCP some credit for their valiant effort. Then as the stage crew finishes cleaning up the ringside area, the good 'ole DERP projection screens begin to purr, bringing the DERP audience something they're surely to enjoy... *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* ON THE SCREENZ *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* [We follow the Studd brothers who approach Omar and Josh Manning as soon as the duo enter the building. Lance proudly shows off the new "PPA" T-shirt. For those of you interested (which would be anyone with a damn brain) - it's bright orange with "PPA" on the front in orange and yellow font. On the back? "Perfectly Perfect In Every Fuckin' Way." Now you can see why they're so excited.] Lance Studd: Omar. You, dude, are the fucking man. Max Studd: For real. How'd you get these T-shirts made and distributed so quick? Omar: Let's just say I've got a few hook-ups here and there, boys. After all, if we're gonna be laying waste to this shit hole, we might as well look fuckin' official doing it, right? Lance Studd: Well, I would say you reminded me of another managerial mind we all know - but I think she would be upset and throw a bitch fest if I said you were even _more_ suave than her. Max Studd: Yeah, she doesn't like competition. I'm sure you know who we're referring to. [Omar thinks for a second. Hmm. Who used to manage the PPD again?] Lance Studd: It's _not_ Erin McCoys. Max Studd: [piping in] Yeah, she died of AIDS. [Curiosity killed the cat.] Lance Studd: Full blown AIDS? Max Studd: [assertive nod] Bit the dust. Omar: Damn. I used to know a girl like that around my way... let every dude in the 'hood have their way with that kitty cat. I mean, you know, you can only be so charitable for so long, right? Josh Manning: Holy shit. Isn't she the chick who had a match take place in her vagina? Me and my cousin used to search the 'net for her sex tapes! [The brothers Studd both nod.] Josh Manning: Well, who the fuck was it? This'll be exactly like that... porn stoppage from way back when. Lance Studd: Not sure who gave 'em to her, man. Too many people fucked that chick silly back in the day. Omar: You know what they say, Lance. Lance Studd: What's that? Omar: If all else fails, blame Canada. [All four men pause and look around sheepishly, as if waiting for the Hand of God to furiously strike them down.] Omar: But, seriously, listen... Samantha's my girl. She's the First fuckin' Lady... the Woman of Every Year, okay? She entrusted me with your contracts here because she's way too busy with her dealings in New Jersey... and besides, I _better_ be suave as shit otherwise she'll have my intestines served on a fuckin' platter. You know full well how she do when someone messes her day up. [Lance and Max exchange grimaces, obviously recalling previous... altercations.] Omar: Now listen... y'all two are in the main event this week. I know you're gonna do everything in your power to fuck those two bullshit-ass tag teams up... right? I didn't make these damn t-shirts for nothing. I know y'all are gonna give me the same two-hundred percent _perfection_ y'all two give Sammy when she's handling all the paperwork. Remember, you guys get to hang with me -- the cool dad. Only y'all better still keep doin' the homework and gettin' A's, feel me? Lance Studd: Fair enough. Max? [Max nods.] Max Studd: Any man good enough for SSB is good enough for us. Lance Studd: Ditto. [Omar smiles pleasingly as PPA walks off in one direction. The camera turns, heading the opposite direction, finding "All Action" Denny Latimer and Tyrone Heat standing side-by-side. Latimer's wearing his standard ring attire, claret trunks with black boots. Heat's got a white towel thrown over his head and shoulders and wears the black singlet, pads and MMA gloves that comprises his ring gear. Stoic, eyes downcast, Heat frowns and waits. Meanwhile Latimer gets on the stick.) DL: This, this is what I'm talking about. D-E-R-P, the second event. All the boys in the back, the boys in the office, we'e proved ourselves now. We're not some flash-in-the-pan vanity project, we're a fixture. We're on the map. We're going places. And all week, all bloody week because of this bastard thing (points to his cast) I've been alternating between Celebrex and Stella in an attempt to get my head straight. But as soon as I walked backstage here tonight, as soon as I got that scent of wrestling in my nose I'm OK. I'm focused. I'm ready. Ready to take on the world. Ready to take on O'Reilly, Nagashima, whoever else wants a piece. And lemme tell you something else as well, lads: lots of the guys back there, they'e got all manner of madness in their bags. Brass knuckles. Steel chairs. Baseball bats. Barbed wire. It's like Mad bloody Max out there, buggers walking around dressed like Tina bloody Turner. Me? I don't need that. I've got an education in fighting, both in the theory and practice. I've got the submission moves, I've got the punches and I ain't afraid to use either. O'Reilly, Nagashima: you're about to get an education in fighting Snake Pit style. [Stepping in, Tyrone puts a hand on Latimer's shoulder and pulls back the towel to look his partner for the night straight in the eye.] TH: That's all well and good, my friend, but tonight you got to pull out all the stops, got that? They gonna be comin' at us with fire and brimstone, breathin' lightning. These two fools don't know nothin' about fair play, and that's fine by me, but I gotta know you're ready to throw that shit out the window! Donovan is garbage! If it's up to me, and I hope it is, he's goin' out on the curb or, better yet, gettin' burned up in the back yard. That I-kyoo-toe dude got a PHD in dirty tactics. Tonight, this-- [Grabbing onto Latimer's hurt arm, Tyrone indicates the cast with a pat.] TH: --this is your best friend. This is a license to do damage. This is DERP! In DERP the only rule is that you don't play by no rules! Fair play is a great thing but it got no place here! Here ... it's like the pits they had in gladiator times, man. We got tossed down here to bleed so the people could see us GUSH out a crimson tide and scream to the high holy heavens that we are WARRIORS! Now ... ARE YOU WITH ME!? DL: YOU'RE BLOODY RIGHT! TH: GOOD! Then let's rain some hell down on those fools! [Both men depart in a hurry. Cut!] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* SCREENS RETURN TO DERP LOGO *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* The show continues to progress along, as Ric Beauty makes his way to the ring, receiving warm applause and cheers from the crowd. Josh Manning certainly did not get the same treatment. The crowd just let loose on Manning, which is to be expected... He did crucify Delaney in GNAW! How's a Pittsburgher gunna get over dat? And it doesn't help to have entourage of the Perfectly Perfect Duo and Omar following you to the ring! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | SECOND MATCH OF THE EVENING | | | | JOSH MANNING | | vs | | "THE 24 HOUR MAN" RIC BEAUTY | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Manning and Beauty go to tie up, but at the last minute Manning pulls away, choosing to showboat a bit! The rest of PPA at ringside (PPD and Omar) applaud Manning, but the fans begin to jeer but quickly start cheering as Beauty doesn't put up the with the shenanigans, going right after Manning with heavy rights and lefts, backing Josh right into the corner. Their Beauty takes a few steps back, and charges in with a big splash in the corner! Manning falls to bottom turn buckle, as Beauty uses the rope to swing himself up and back down... crashing into Manning knee first! Beauty doesn't relent at all, beginning to pull Manning out of the corner, but Manning responds with a thumb to the eye, hooks Beauty with a side headlock, runs up the turnbuckles.... TORNADO DDT! Manning floats over for the cover! 1... KICKOUT! Manning gets to his feet and starts laying into Beauty with kick after kick after kick. Finally Manning charges the ropes, leaps to the top... TWISTING SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP... THE RIVER CITY JAM! The crowd pops for the explosive move! PPA at ringside start yelling at fans that its OVER as Manning goes for the cover... BUT BEAUTY ROLLS HIM UP WITH A SMALL PACKAGE! 1... KICKOUT! Both Beauty and Manning scramble to their feet. Beauty uses the ropes, as Manning charges in. Beauty just ducks the shoulder and lifts, spilling Manning right to the outside! Beauty wastes no time and rolls outside himself... only to catch a nasty chop by Manning! And then another! And then another... then a standing dropkick by Manning! Beauty stumbles back into the ring steps, as Manning approaches again, but Beauty fights him off with rights and lefts. Manning fires right back not giving a inch until Beauty just bear hugs Manning and lifts him into a belly to belly suplex... ONTO THE STEEL STEPS!!!! "HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT!" "HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT!" "HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT!" Beauty gets to his feet, clutching his arms, having them gotten pinned under Manning. Manning is still on the mat, clutching his back and head. Beauty, raises his hand to the DERP crowd and gets loud cheer. Both Studd brothers move in, starting to verbally abuse the "24 Hour Man." Beauty just flips them off as he pulls Manning to his feet and rolls him back into the ring. Beauty wastes no time and climbs, and grabs Manning's leg... ITS THE BEAUTY LOCK -- a picture perfect old school figure four! Manning screams out in pain, as Beauty torques it as much as he can, adding as much pressure as possible! Manning's shoulder go flat on the mat... 1... SHOULDER UP! Beauty throws some punches for good measure. Manning tries to turn it on Beauty, but he has not luck.... and his shoulders go flat again! 1... SHOUDLER UP! With a deep breath, Manning again throws all his weight into turning Beauty over breaking the hold. Manning tries, and tries and tries... He struggles, doing all he can to turn Beauty over... Beauty fights back, turning the other way! Classic old school wrestling here, and the fans are eating it up! "BEAU-TEE! BEAU-TEE BEAU-TEE!" "BEAU-TEE! BEAU-TEE BEAU-TEE!" "BEAU-TEE! BEAU-TEE BEAU-TEE!" But it doesn't matter how much the fans cheer, Manning turns Beauty over, reversing the hold! Beauty is now screaming in pain, but quickly breaks the hold! Manning rolls away and outside the ring, as Beauty takes his time getting to his feet, plotting his next move. Manning stumbles around on the outside, shaking off the cobwebs. "The 24 Hour Man" beckons Manning to come into the ring, but Manning pays no attention. The crowd begins to boo as Manning is just seemingly stalling on the outside, turning his back to the ring and jawing at the crowd.... The rest of PPA comes over talk strategy but that's a... BIG MISTAKE AS BEAUTY DIVES THROUGH THE ROPES! SUICIDE DIVE! EVERYONE DOWN! "D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P!" "D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P!" "D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P!" Both men withe in pain on the floor, eyes rolled back into their heads. Beauty is the first to stir, but not being used to flying through the air... he's certainly struggling. As is Manning, who seems really out of it now. Beauty pulls himself up slowly using the ring apron, as Manning uses the guardrail. The rest of PPA slowly slink away, trying to regroup as both Manning and Beauty move towards each other, but its' Manning with the quick kick to the gut and a swinging neck breaker follow up! Manning pulls Beauty to his feet, takes a pie tin from a audience member and smacks the hell out of Beauty with it sending him back down to the floor. Manning smacks him again, and again... AND AGAIN! There is just nothing left of the pie tine as Manning throws it back into the crowd. Manning pulls Beauty to his feet, and whips him HARD into the guardrail. Manning runs, leaps onto the guard rail.... SPRINGBAORD ENZURGURI!!! [WE HATE YOU BUT THAT WAS FUCKING COOL POP!] Beauty drops to the floor, as Manning and the rest of PPA begin to jaw and boast to the DERP audience, who doesn't wanna hear any of it. Manning even flips a few fans off, and the Studd brothers jack a few brewskies from the front row before Manning turns back to Beauty's who is busy stirring. With a few forearm shots, Manning raises Beauty to his feet, and rolls him inside the ring. Manning elects to climb to the top turnbuckle. Beauty stirs a bit, but is genuinely motionless as Manning takes his time, continuing to yak at the crowd. He then turns to Beauty, and leaps... ASAI MOONSAULT... MISSES!!! Beauty rolls out of the way much to the delight of the fans and the frustration of PPA at ringside! Beauty gets to his feet slowly, having to use the turnbuckles. Manning goes a bit faster, but waist for Beauty to get to his feet. Beauty charges in, Manning steps to the side, and goes behind.... GERMAN SUPLEX WITH THE BRIDGE! 1... 2...... SHOULDER UP! [HUGE FACE POP!] Fans certainly happy Beauty found it in him to get the shoulder up, but Manning doesn't release his grip. He rolls Beauty over, and lifts him up... ANOTHER SUPLEX... AND ANOTHER BRIDGE! 1... 2...... KICK OUT! Frustration is sitting in as Manning _still_ doesn't let go of the hold, rolls Beauty over again... ANOTHER GERMAN SUPELX... AND ANOTHER BRIDGE! 1... 2... SHOULDER UP!!!! [MASSIVE HUGE ASS OVER THE TOP FACE POP!] Somehow, someway Beauty kicks out AGAIN, and Manning is not happy about it! PPA lashes out as the referee, as Manning finally releases the hold, only to get to his feet and start stomping a mud hole in Beauty! Vicious stomps to Beauty's torso, arms and head! Again and again Manning just keeps stomping until finally Manning just mounts Beauty, and starts in with punches, wailing away right on Beauty's forehead... SPLITTING BEAUTY WIDE OPEN! But Manning doesn't stop until he's out of breath! Beauty looks just _OUT COLD_! Manning with the pin! 1... 2...... FOOT ON THE ROPES! [MASSIVE FACE POP!] Manning doesn't seem to be able to put the quote unquote relic away! Manning calls for the rest of the PPA to enter the ring! The referee instantly objects, but Manning backs him into a corner, a finger in his face as the Studd brothers enter the ring, chairs in hand. Omar pulls Beauty to his feet, as the Studd brothers begin to play ping bong with Beauty! Max swings, connects as Beauty pings towards Lance! Lance swings, connects, ponging Beauty back to Max! Max swings again, pinging Beauty back to Lance... but Lance ends, dropping the chair to the mat, kicking Beauty in the gut... and CATCHING HIM WITH A JUMPING PERFECTLY PERFECT DRIVER ON THE CHAIR!!! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! The crowd is not happy at all with what they are seeing! Beauty is out cold, as PPA roams the ring, celebrating their actions! But the jeers turn to.. cheers! As a black mass moves down the ramp way... ITS A HORDE OF MIDGETS... WITH SINGAPORE CANES!!! There is about... 10... 15.... maybe _20_ of them, all wearing DERP shirts! They run right up the ring steps and into the ring! PPA tries to fight them off! Max, Lance, Josh and even Omar swinging, but there's too many of them! Whack, whack, whack go the midgets with the canes, eventually over taking PPA! They just continue to whack away as everyone in the arena is just laughing their asses off! Finally, the midget tire and begin _rolling_ PPA out of the ring, leaving only Manning and Beauty in the ring! THANK YOU MID-GETS! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP THANK YOU MID-GETS! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP THANK YOU MID-GETS! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP THANK YOU MID-GETS! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP THANK YOU MID-GETS! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP As quickly as they appeared and restored order, they disappear as quickly, collectively dragging Perfectly Perfect Duo and Omar to the back by their ears. In the ring, Manning is laying on the mat, small welts forming over his back from the caning he just received. Beauty, wearing a crimson mask, rests in the corner and pulls himself to his feet, as the crowd cheers, making sure Beauty knows this is far from over and they're still behind him! He walks out of the corner, rolls Manner over, and basically collapses on him... 1... 2...... KICK OUT!!!! Beauty sits up, sucking wind, trying to find it in him to put Manning away. Despite finding the muster to kick out, Manning doesn't look like he's in any position to win this match. Beauty gets to his feet, and points to the top rope... The fans erupt! GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! And Beauty does... slowly! He gets to the middle rope, turns around and sits on the top rope. He raises his arms in the air, smiling through his blood mask as Manning still hasn't moved. Beauty moves up to the top rope............. AND HE GETS KKNOCKED OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! NAGASHIMA, THE TOYKO BAD BOY, OUTTA NOWHERE!!! FUCK-ING BULL-SHIT! FUCK-ING BULL-SHIT! FUCK-ING BULL-SHIT! FUCK-ING BULL-SHIT! FUCK-ING BULL-SHIT! FUCK-ING BULL-SHIT! FUCK-ING BULL-SHIT! FUCK-ING BULL-SHIT! FUCK-ING BULL-SHIT! He connects with a steel pipe to Beauty's back causing the veteran to fall face first off the top rope. Ikuto then rolls into the ring, as the fans just go wild with hatred! Ikuto cracks Beauty again, screaming at him. He then drops the pipe, and goes over to Manning... He pulls Josh to his feet, and pulls him over to Beauty... He turns him around.... MAKE OVER! MAKE OVER ONTO MANNING WHO LANDS RIGHT ONTO BEAUTY! Ikuto picks up his steel pipe, gives both men a shot, before exiting the ring. The fans are standing on their feet letting Ikuto have it, as the ref has to count, as Ikuto left Manning out cold on top of a Beauty, who's out cold as well!!!! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [THUNDEROUS WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT THAT WAS HEEL POP!] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | WINNER: Josh Manning | | | | FINISH: Victim of a Make Over | | from Ikuto onto Beauty | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* [The fans are not happy about this one, as the PPA returns to ringside, feeling the effects of those cane shots, collecting what remains of Josh Manning, keeping their eyes on "the Tokyo Bad Boy". Beauty gets to his feet on his own accord, confused by what happened, he demands an answer from the ref, but a "HEY SWEETHEART" from ringside, and a lil wave, gives Beauty all the answer's he needs! He turns and looks at ringside, with the "Tokyo Bad Boy" stands with his steel pipe in hand. Beauty calls for a mic, starring daggers at Ikuto.] BEAUTY: I told you Ikuto you wouldn't have to wait long to see me... Little I know that mean you be out here, costing me my match!!!! But I guess I should have expected it... SCUM LIKE YOU DOES TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT!!! [YOU CALLED HIM SCUM POP!] BEAUTY: You don't bother to fight me like a man. You don't even bother to come at me head on. No... You hop a guard rail, and hit a man when he's perched to fly his way to victory! Well, I tell you what, Ikuto... THAT SHIT DOESN'T FLY WITH ME!!! I live in a world where what GOES around... COMES AROUND! [Beauty gets real close to the ropes...] BEAUTY: ..AND I COMING FOR YOU!!! [Beauty virtually dives through he ropes, but maintains his footing as Nagashima takes off running. He goes around the one corner, looking back at Beauty. He keeps on running, laughing, screaming "COME ON! CATCH ME OLD MAN! YOU RELIC YOU!" as he rounds another corner. He finally gets to the ramp way, and heads up it, head turned around taunting Beauty..... ....AS "THE TRASHMAN COMES OUT OF NO WHERE WITH ONE HELLUVA CLOTHESLINE!!! [HE JUST DID A FLIP IN THE AIR POP!] Tyrone gives him a few boots, as he calls to the back, calling out... "ALL ACTION" DENNY LATIMER! As Denny comes down the ring, Beauty hops the guard rail, and asks a near by fan in a cowboy hat if he could take a seat. The fan offers no objections, as Tyrone and Denny hook Ikuto... FOR A DOUBLE SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR! The crowd cheers some more, as Heat grabs a near by chair and whacks Nagashima with it! Tyrone then hands it the chair to Denny, and tells him to swing away! With a shrug, Denny swings... CRRRRRAAAACKKK! Another skull crushing chair shot! Tyrone gives Denny a golf clap as he pulls Ikuto to his feet, and rolls him into the ring, Denny rolling in after him. Heat hops up onto the apron.... as everyone wonders where the hell Donovan O'Reily is?!?! His music, "Burning Hell" by the Brainbombs, hits the PA as a spotlight searches the crowd, assuming he might be a bit lost if he's taking the same route as last week. The spotlight catches him but he's.... he's standing in the beer line!!! He motions to the ref to just get the show started without him?!?!?! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | RANDOM TAG TEAM INSANITY! | | | | "THE TRASHMAN" TYRONE HEAT | | "ALL ACTION" DENNY LATIMER | | vs. | | DONOVAN O'REILY | | "THE TOYKO BAD BOY" IKUTO NAGASHIMA | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* The music dies as Latimer has Ikuto locked in a side headlock, really trying to squeeze Ikuto's head like a grape. Ikuto breaks the hold, whipping Denny into the ropes. Denny comes running back, Ikuto drops to the ground. Denny this the ropes again and comes bouncing back.. Nagashima catches him with a a flying knee lift. Latimer stumbles back into the ropes, as "the Tokyo Bad Boy" decides to Irish whip him across the ring again. Ikuto goes for a leap frog as Denny comes back, and he blindly leaps for a drop kick... but Denny hooks himself on the ropes, stopping his progress. As Ikuto gets to his feet, Denny drops an elbow to his cranium. Denny gets back up and does it again, dropping Ikuto to the mat, before going and tagging in his partner, "the Trashman." As Tyrone gets into the ring, he drops a knee to Ikuto's back, sending him sprawling into the corner. Heat approaches and goes to town in the corner on Nagashima. He starts off with simple kicks and knees to Nagashima's torso, and then begins with some nasty knife edge chops... The crowd counts along... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... Tyrone stops at five, looks around, takes a few steps back and then drops Ikuto with a jumping roundhouse kick! Tyrone doesn't waste anytime, quickly going for the pin! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Tyrone doesn't miss a beat, laying into "they Tokyo Bad Boy" with a few punches as he pulls Ikuto to his feet. The crowd begins to buzz too as Donovan O'Reilly has finally received his beer, and began to make his way to ringside, lighting up a smoke as he goes! Ikuto sure looks like he could use some help as Tyrone basically flings Ikuto across the ring with a exploder suplex! Tyrone doesn't go for a cover, but rather tags in Denny. Ric Beauty adds his two cents from ringside: FUCK HIM UP "ALL ACTION"! FUCK HIM UP!!! As Denny gets in the ring, Donovan finally makes it to the ring, but hasn't extinguished his cigarette. This isn't stopping him from reaching for the tag though, but Denny puts an end to that... or so he thinks! Soon as "All Action" gets near, Ikuto he grips up the broken hand, the one in the cast, and looks on a nasty arm breaker, pulling Denny right to the mat! Ikuto desperately pulls Latimer to his corner, trying to make the tag... He gets so close, so close... O'Reilly flings his cigarette, and really tries to reach....... ...and then hops of the apron, and crosses his arms! The crowd just erupts! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! FUCK-ING ASSHOLE! Ikuto just shakes his head, puts Latimer's hand on the ground, and drops a knee right to it! and then another! Latimer screams in pain... as O'Reilly, who has his back turned to the ring... gets pummeled with a chair shot from Tyrone! Beauty, near by, applauds loudly! "Yea, Trashman! Show him how to swing that steel!" Tyrone is _obviously_ not pleased with Donovan's sense of teamwork, as the fans in the first row can testify, having bared witness to the spew of obscenities that came out of "the Trashman's" mouth! In the ring, Ikuto has a STF locked on Latimer, really punishing the broken hand of Denny again. Soon as Tyrone gets wind of this, he slides into the ring, chair in hand... He goes to swing, Ikuto sees him... KICK TO THE CHAIR, AND IT GOES INTO THE FACE OF HEAT! Tyrone stumbles into the corner, Ikuto charges, and monkey flips him out of the corner! Latimer has gotten to his feet, grabbing his hand, before starting at Ikuto... who charges and takes him down with a flying leg lariat! But Ikuto has no time to capitalize as Heat gets to his feet, grabs the chair and swings, connecting right with Ikuto's skull! TRASH MAN! TRASH MAN! TRASH MAN! TRASH MAN! TRASH MAN! TRASH MAN! TRASH MAN! TRASH MAN! TRASH MAN! But their celebration is short lived... as O'Reilly has gotten into the ring, coming up behind Hear, Singapore cane in hand.... CRRRRRRRAAAACKKK! Shot to Heat's back! CRRRRRRAAAAAACCCCKKKKK! Shot to Heat's temple, and the "Trashman' goes down, rolling out of the ring. Latimer tries to get to his feet....... CRRRRRRRRAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKK! Right across the forehead, sending "All Action" outta the ring! The referee taps on O'Reilly shoulders, trying to get him out of the ring..... CRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKK! Down goes the referee! O'Reilly has one helluva a smile, and poses in the ring as the crowd just lets him have it! Garbage is even beginning to get thrown! O'Reilly doesn't even flinch, deciding to go to his prey, instead of waiting for them to collect themselves. Perhaps he should have waited, as soon as he gets outside, Heat hooks him for a belly-to-belly overhead suplex, dropping O'Relly right on his head on the concrete floor! [MASSIVE FACE POP!] Heat helps Latimer to his feet, but Ikuto runs up the turnbuckles... [MASSIVE HEEL POP!] FLYING DROPKICK, ONE FOOT FOR EACH MAN! Heat and Latimer crash to the mat, as does Ikuto, sacrificing himself in the process! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! Neither team is really moving even still, until finally... FINALLY Tyrone begins to stir a bit, pulling himself to his knees with the ring apron. He shakes his head, and rolls back into the ring. Ikuto is the next one moving, pulling himself up using the ring steps. He raises his arm to the crowd, gets a respect pop, and rolls himself into the ring. Heat waits for Ikuto to get in, and charges in with a flying shoulder block. Ikuto hits the mat, but bounces back up quickly. Heat charges in again with another shoulder block. Again, Ikuto his the mat and again kips back up. Heat goes in for another shoulder block... but Ikuto ducks the move but holds on, pulling Heat down with a crucifix pin attempt! 1... 2... KICK OUT! Heat gets up and he just looks angry! Latimer has made his way back his corner, as O'Reilly is just now stirring from that hellacious suplex. Ikuto and Tyrone get into a slug fest, rights and lefts and rights and lefts. Tyrone seems to be winning this one as he backs Ikuto into the ropes, whips him across the ring, only to pick him up with a... SPINEBUSTER! Heat gets to his feet... only to be caught with a top rope bulldog outta nowhere by O'Reilly! Latimer immediately gets in the ring, and is met with a palm thrust to the noggin, a kick to the gut, and nasty double arm DDT!!! The ref tries to get O'Rielly outta the ring, but he just pushes him out of his way, choosing to get on the mat real close to Ikuto who's busy trying to gather himself, deciding to yell right in Ikuto's ear "PAY ATTENTION KID! THIS IS HOW IT'S _DONE_!" O"Reilly gives Ikuto a lil slap across the face, then returns his attention to Tyrone Heat... gripping up and hitting _HIM_ with a overhead belly to belly suplex! But Donovan isn't done, choosing to forcibly remove Tyrone from the ring with a series of boot kicks..... Then O'Reilly approaches Denny, pulling "All Action" to his feet, only to send him right back down with a nasty headbutt. Again the ref tries to get O'Reilly out of the ring, but is just pushed out of the way as O'Reilly places his boot on the throat of Denny, and puts all his weight right on it, standing on one leg! Latimer kicks and screams, as Tyrone slides a table into the ring. This catches O'Reilly attention, who lets off of Latimer and goes to get the jump on Tyrone... but Heat takes him down, double leg style, and just mounts Donovan, going to town with lefts and rights until.... MODEL BEHAVIOR, a shining enzuguri by Ikuto, knocking Tyrone off on O'Reilly. Ikuto goes for the pin... 1... 2...... LATIMER WITH THE SAVE!!!! Sensing a chance to restore some order, the ref gets O'Reilly to his corner, and Latimer to his, leaving Ikuto and Heat in the ring as the legal men. "COME ON TRASHMAN! LETS COMPACT THAT ASIAN!!!" screams Beauty at ringside, not enjoying seeing Nagashima take control of this match. Both men get to their feet, staggering. Heat makes a quick move to tag in Latimer, as does Ikuto..... but again O"Reilly drops off the apron! As Ikuto turns around, pissed with the partner he's stuck with, he gets even more pissed when Latimer kicks him in the gut, and catches him with a double underhook suplex... complete with a bridge! 1... 2... KICK OUT! O'Reilly didn't even budge to make the save, but Ikuto did manage to kick out! Latimer doesn't pause, choosing to set up the table Tyrone brought into the ring, leaning it against the one corner. He pulls Ikuto to his feet, and whips him into the table..... THUDDDD! Ikuto crashes right into it, stumbles back.... DROPICK BY LATIMER! IKUTO GOES THROUGH THE TABLE! THE CROWD ERUPTS! Ric Beauty probably enjoys it more than anyone by the look on his face, and the volume of his laughter! He chants right along with the fans! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! Latimer pulls him out of the rubble, covering him for the pin... 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES! Latimer must not have pulled Ikuto out far enough, as he luckily got his foot on the ropes! O'Reilly did climb back up on the apron, but did not even budge to try to make the save! Latimer gets to his feet, pulling Ikuto to his... only for Ikuto to drop him with a jaw breaker, out of desperation! Ikuto begins to go for the tag, but quickly remembers that does him no good with O'Reilly! Instead he pulls himself up along the ropes, as Latimer gets to his corner to make the tag... BUT O'REILY TAKES HIMSELF IN AND BARRELS INTO THE RING! He tackles Latimer before he can make the tag! He lays into him with lefts and rights... and then a headbutt! O'Reilly then decides to pull Latimer to his feet, putting his one arm over the top rope, letting the ropes hold up Latimer. O'Reilly backs up and charges.... O'REILY-LINE! Donovan sends Latimer to the outside with a nasty clothesline, catching himself on the apron. He doesn't miss a beat, getting into the ring, and then going at it with "the Trashman"! They go back and forth with flying fists, before O'Reilly hooks Tyrone... VERTICAL SUPLEX INTO THE RING! Donovan continues the onslaught, elbowing Tyrone before whipping him into the corner. Donovan charges with a giant splash, followed by some nasty uppercuts! Donovan pauses with the assault, choosing to pull the table closer, as Latimer stirs outside... digging underneath the ring, watching frantically as Donovan dominates inside the ring Donovan picks Tyrone up, forcing him to sit on the top turnbuckle, as Donovan climbs up as well... The crowd falls silent in anticipation, as Donovan checks the table's distance before...DELERIUM TREMENS... THROUGH THE TABLE! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! Both men are flat on their back, with Donovan on top of Heat, but it doesn't matter since Heat's not the legal man!!! Donovan begins to stir, getting to his knees, trying to get things together. Latimer slides back into the ring.... WITH A STRAND OF BARBWIRE WRAPPED AROUND THE CAST!!! [WE LOVE BARBWIRE POP!] Upon sight, the crowd erupts! O'Reilly gets to his feet... RUNNING FOREARM SHOT! O'Reilly wobbles, Latimer backs up and charges again... ANOTHER FOREARM SHOT! O'Reilly is now bleeding! Latimer shakes off his arms, feeling these shots, but not caring one bit! He charges in again... FLYING FOREARM SHOT DROP O'REILY TO THE MAT! Ikuto hits the ring... FOREARM SHOT FOR HIM! AND ANOTHER! Ikuto against the ropes... CLOTHESLINE WITH THE CAST! Ikuto's up and over the ropes to the floor below! He climbs to his feet, using the guardrail right in front of RIC BEAUTY!!! The fans begin to scream, totally wanting Beauty to wail him one. Instead Beauty just shoves Ikuto towards the ring! the "Tokyo Bad Boy" loses his balance but manages to save himself, diving headfirst into the ring! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! DEN-KNEE! Ikuto climbs to his feet, using the guardrail right in front of RIC BEAUTY!!! The fans begin to scream, totally wanting Beauty to wail him one. Instead Beauty just shoves Ikuto towards the ring! the "Tokyo Bad Boy" loses his balance, stumbling around a bit before catching himself. With the crowd going wild, Latimer bounces off the ropes... DROPS A FOREARM ON O'REILY'S ALREADY BLOODY HEAD! He makes the cover... 1... 2... SAVE BY IKUTO!!!!!! [WHY DID YOU SAVE HIM POP!] Denny rolls off Donovan, barbwire casted hand raised in the air, letting the crowd know he's not done yet. But first, Denny decides to check on Tyrone again, who is now sitting up in the corner. With an extension of his good hand, Denny helps Heat to his feet, right as Ikuto charges at Denny, who goes for a clothesline. Denny ducks, but behind Latimer is "the Trashman"... SCOOP SLAM!!! Denny off the ropes... FALLING CAST SHOT! Again with the barbwire! As Denny rolls off, clutching his arm, Heat goes for the pin... 1... 2... SHOULDER UP! Denny wasted no time with O'Reily, seeing the big man was down, "All Action" capitalized... LOCKING ON THE LANDON LOCK!!! His pin attempt failed, 'the Trashman' sees Denny and decides to join in on the fun... LOCKING ON THE PUNK CHOKER! Tyrone is sucking the life right out of O'Reily, getting as much revenge as he can for the DELERIUM TREMENS through the table. BAILEY CAN'T EVEN TAP OUT IF HE WANTED TOO!!! Even his free hand his being pinned!!! The ref checks in, trying to see if O'Reily's even breathing... AS IKUTO COMES CHARGING WITH A PIECE OF THE TABLE!!! SMMMMMMAAAAASSHH! he shatters it over Denny's head, as Tyrone lets go of the hold, deciding to go after Ikuto! Ikuto stuns him with a discus punch soon as Tyrone gets upright. "the Trashman" stumbles back into the ropes, as Ikuto lays into him with palm thrusts, one right after another. Latimer gets to his feet, pulling O'Reily off the mat. Ikuto kicks Tyrone the gut.... MODEL BEHAVIOR! Latimer has O'Reily with a double underhook... DROPS HIM TO THE MAT WITH A FACE BUSTER!! "All Action" rolls him over as Ikuto hooks Tyrone's legs,, with his own legs on the ropes for added leverage!!! BEAUTY SEES IT!!! 1... HE HOPS THE GUARDRAIL.... 2....... AND PULLS IKUTO RIGHT OUT OF THE RING!!!!! [WE FUCKING LOVE RELICS POP!] 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | WINNER: Tyrone Heat/Denny Latimer | | | | FINISH: Double underhook face buster | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Ikuto lands the ground outside, chest first and with a heavy thud! The wind is instantly knocked out of him, as Beauty stands over him, berating the "Tokyo Bad Boy." He gives Ikuto a few kicks, before marching off to the back, smile plastered across his face. O'Reily is no where near as happy, rolling out of the ring, and groggily exiting the ringside area through the crowd. Latimer and Heat shakes hands, and make their way to the back, high fiving some fans as they go. Overall, I can say the fans were very impressed with what happened, and they loved seeing karma come back to haunt Ikuto like that! There seems to be some debate, though, whether Beauty can hold up in the long haul in a war with someone like 'the Tokyo Bad Boy'. As the ring crew does their job, the DERP projectors fire up once again... *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* ON THE SCREENZ *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* (Scene: We see the masked figure known to all in DERP as Foodstamp. Foodstamp is standing in front of a backdrop sporting the DERP Logo. Standing next to him is the fattest man you will ever see. The man is covered in dark body hair with the exception of his bald cue ball like head. This man has rolls upon rolls and a kennels worth of bulldog jowls. Somewhere under all that flab is hidden wrestling trunks., we hope) Foodstamp: Yo Derpers its me your favorite interviewer Foodstamp. With me right now is a man new to the Derpness. Please welcome the newest member of the DERP roster, (squints to read the teleprompter off camera. Twigglenose Tiwallagher? Fat Hairy Man: The name is Twinkle-toes Tiwillger and I am the newest member of this company. Before that I was the hottest free agent in all or wrestling, and promoters worldwide rang my phone off the hook and camped outside my door urging me to sign for their respective companies. Before that I was the star of HUGE, where at each show out I treated the great wrestling fans of Portsmouth Ohio to the breathtaking displays of wrestling and athleticism that defied human potential. Sadly HUGE closed its doors and my rabid Twinkie fans around the world were without their hero. But now thanks to Ryan Delaney and DERP, Twinkle- toes has found a new home, where the greatest wrestler in the world can once again entertain the greatest wrestling fans in the world in the soon to be greatest wrestling promotion in the world! Foodstamp: HUGE? Hey I used to be in HUGE to. Hey I remember they had a really fat out of shape guy there who thought he was a cruiser weight. Do you... remember ..his ...name? (Foodstamp does a double take and realize who is talking to) TT: A Fat out shape guy who thought he was a cruiser weight. Sadly, I must admit I know this person, His name was, Glep Peeps. I swear I don't know why Barney kept him around or how he passed the physicals. Foodstamp: Glen Peeps? Are you on drugs he wasn't fat he was-- TT: --Morbidly obese I agree. I don't know why he called himself a cruiser weight. Probably to emulate his hero, The King of the Cruiser weights, me. A lot of wrestlers looked up to me, People looked to me for inspiration as the brightest star in the cruiser weight division. Foodstamp: Cruiser weight? Are you shitting me? You could be the entire cruiser weight division! I don't remember any other cruiser weights in HUGE! If there were cruiser weights, you probably ate them! TT: Sarcasm will get you nowhere! Stop picking on me about my size. Look, right now I will admit I've had a long layoff and I may not be in the best shape of my life. But with hard work exercise and doing what I do best, all that weight, will come back. I will never allow myself to become a shell of the man I once was ever again! Foodstamp: Wait? You've LOST weight? TT: I know its hard to tell what with me being such a small guy to begin with. When I'm training I train hard. If I'm not in the gym pumping the iron to keep in game shape, I'm at the dinner table doing what I can to replace all those calories I burn off. You wouldn't know it to look at me, but I'm told I'm a very big eater for my size. Foodstamp: (knocks his head against the backdrop) Uhm sure, what the fuck ever! (Pause) Well I have a job to do, and that job is to first... let all those wonderful DERPaholics out there that tonight there has been an ADDED MATCH to the card here. Our friend here, Twigglenose... TT: _TWINKLETOES_! Foodstamp: Yea, what he said... Twinkletoes will be going up against DART~! students, Micky Ripdeck! (Looks at Twilliger like he doesn't even wanna ask the question that his job requires him too) How do you think you will fare against a fellow, cruiser weight? TT: Mikey Whipdeck? A cruiser weight? Mikey Whipdeck is nothing but a fat slob with extreme body image issues. He is nothing more than a fat giant who can't run the length of himself who probably sweats pure Crisco. What an insult to have such a great cruiser weight matched up against some fat slob who can barely move or even see his own feet! Foodstamp: Oh yeah, Mikey is a real porker. (Shakes his head and mumbles, "I need the money, I need the money. drugs aren't FREE) So what are you going to do against the, big man? TT: I'm going to do what I always do. Every match in HUGE they put me against behemoths the like of Mikey to try put me and little guys like me down. I'm a tiny man in a big mans world, yet I manage to succeed and that just amplifies their sheer jealously of me. Yet no matter what they throw at me, I, Twinkletoes Twilliger, The King of the Cruiserweights, and The Ultimate Underdog always prevail! With my pure athleticism, I dazzle them with the greatest show above earth. My opponents are overwhelmed and the fans are in awe of aerial artistry. Despite such odds, with the help of my little twinkies I manage to overcome these giants each and every match. Tonight will be no different, I will go out there tonight, as the greatest cruiser weight in the world, and the flag bearer of the Twinkletoed Nation, and I will show Mikey Whipdeck and all the other wanna bees, not only what a true cruiser weight looks like, but how they perform in the ring. A true cruiser weight performs with the heart of a champion, and within this champions heart beats the blood of all my little twinkies. DERP fans and Twinkies alike, this is the first match of many matches that shall define this promotion for years to come, TWINKIE POWER! (Twinkle-toes looks to be flexing the saddles of fat clinging from his arms. Twinkie beats the flab of his chest like a gorilla as he hoops and hollers off stage. Foodstamp just looks on in wonder, as he has finally managed to meet someone more out of it than him. Camera begins to fade..) *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* SCREENS RETURN TO DERP LOGO *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Well... that was... different. The DERP audience was laughing and cracking jokes, so I guess it wasn't a _TOTAL_ waste of time. And when Foodstamp mentioned the added match, that certainly received applauds.... although I'm sure it's just because they wanna see the "King of the Cruiserweights" on the receiving end of some physical abuse! And, as the Delaney segment was probably designed to do, it help transition nicely into the next match of the evening, the _bonus_ match booked by Delaney, allowing one of his newest DERP employees to get his feet wet in the great Ocean DERP! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | BONUS MATCH FOR THE EVENING! | | | | TWINKLETOES TWILLINGER | | vs. | | MICKEY RIPDECK | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* The referee calls for the starting bell. Twinkle-toes Twilliger (TT) lunges towards Mikey Ripdeck(MR) but sidesteps TT and runs into the ropes. TT turns to face MR comes off the ropes with a flying dropkick that hits TT in the chest. However due to the size and mass of TT MR just bounces off him. MR gets up runs into the ropes again and again executes a flying dropkick which again bounces off TT. MR gets up a third time and runs into the ropes and rebounds and executes a baseball slide between the legs of TT. MR gets up and executes a kick to the back of TT's leg and the so called little man falls to one knee. MR follows up with a dropkick to the back of TT's head and TT falls forward. MR tries to roll TT over onto his belly, but struggles mightily. MR is eventually successful and rather than go for a pin he signals towards one of the top turnbuckles to show the fans he's going air borne. MR climbs the ropes and takes time to steady himself on the ropes before an executing a shooting star press, which fails to hit its target as TT found the strength to roll himself out of the way. Fans aren't happy with TT moving outta the way there, but they certainly seem pleased with the chain wrestling they witnessing! RIP-DECK! RIP-DECK! RIP-DECK! RIP-DECK! RIP-DECK! RIP-DECK! RIP-DECK! RIP-DECK! RIP-DECK! The fans trying to get Ripdeck that emotional kick start to get things rolling, but TT has other plans. He gets up and grabs MR by the back of the head. TT lifts MR up and executes a body slam. TT raises his arms in the air and looks to the fans for approval. The fans aren’t impressed. TT then shouts out Twinkling Senton Splash!" and then runs into the ropes and rebounds with a running, well in this case waddling leg drop, that nearly squishes MR. The fans react with a mix of confusion and disappointment. TT again holds up his hands in the air for the approval that only be found in the mind of TT. TT picks up MR, again by the back of the head and whips him into the corner. MR hits the turnbuckle hard and slumps against the corner ropes. TT again shouts out something "Twinkling Elbow!". TT then runs into the corner and applies a body splash to the smaller MR. TT then steps back and gives MR an elbow smash to the head. "Lets see any other cruiser weight do that!" TT shouts out. TT looks to the fans for approval and again receives only boos and pieces of popcorn thrown in his direction by the perplexed and less than entertained spectators in attendance. TT pulls MR out of the corner and picks him up over his head. While barely mobile, TT is considerably strong given his physical conditioning or lack there of. TT waddles with MR over to the ropes and then drops him over the side and down onto the area around ringside. [THAT HAD TO HURT POP!!!!!!!!!!!!] TT again shouts out a move name to the fans... "Twinkling Plancha". The fans are confused but curious to see what qualifies as a plancha in the mind of the fat man. TT, steps back a few steps and then lunges forward. The fans hold their breath, not sure if this crazy man will do this. Will they see fat fly tonight? As soon as TT gets to the ropes, he stops and climbs through them, then he climbs down the rings steps and stands over MR before plopping down hard on MR's chest . "Aerial wrestling at its finest!" TT screams out. The fans of DERP fail to see it that way. TT, picks up MR whose 3 dimensionality at this time is in question, and Irish whips him into the ring post. The fans wait for TT to call this Irish whip Twinkling something, but he doesn't call it anything. In TT's world and Irish whip is still just an Irish whip. TT Irish whips MR into the ring steps and MR crashes hard into them. TT waddles over to MR and sprawls him out on the ring steps and walks back. TT then "runs" towards the ring steps and executes a body splash, that MR rolls away from causing TT to crash into the ring steps with nothing else to absorb the impact. [FINALLY MIKEY GETS SOME OFFENSE POP!] TT slowly gets up clutching his chest, he looks to be winded and in extreme pain. TT staggers around at ringside, with his back to MR. TT is oblivious to MR taking a running leap off the ring steps and drop kicking him from behind, causing TT to land face first into a ring post. [EVEN MORE OFFENSE FROM RIPDECK POP!] MR gets up and climbs back into the ring, breaking the 10 count the referee was administering. MR shouts out "Mikey Plancha!" , in mocking tone, and then runs into the ropes rebounds and executes a flying plancha that brings TT crashing down to the floor. D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! MR finally gets up and tries to get TT up on his feet. TT looks to be out of it as he staggers and falls. "Twinkies, give me your power!" he shouts out. This is met by howling laughter from the fans in attendance before they start up a very derogatory chant. FUCK YOU FATTIE! Clap! Clap! Clap,Clap,Clap! FUCK YOU FATTIE! Clap! Clap! Clap,Clap,Clap! FUCK YOU FATTIE! Clap! Clap! Clap,Clap,Clap! MR struggles to pick up TT and try to roll him in the ring. Just as he manages to get TT to his feet, MR is hit in the back of the head. MR turns around to see Elbitz, the elderly Elvis impersonator and special 'ring announcer' to TT. Elbitz is brandishing the megaphone he just hit MR with. MR glares at Elbert and shouts something at him. Elbitz responds with shouting something of his own and then drops the megaphone, and clenches his fists, putting them in a boxers defensive stance. MR laughs at Elbitz and simply turns his back to him. As he does he comes face to face with TT. BEEEEEEEEEERRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!!! TT lets out a loud belch and with it a stream of undigested food particles and other fluids related to the human digestion process. This stream coats the face of MR and temporarily blinds him. Fans at ringside flee for the back, as the rest in the arena let the boo's loose as TT then hoists MR and throws him back into the ring. TT climbs back into thieving. TT shouts out "Twinkling Triple Flip Moonsault!" TT then runs up against the ropes, rebounds off them, and hits MR with a massive belly splash. A stunned MR is now an out cold MR as TT goes for the cover and the referee administers the count. 1... 2...... 3!!!!!!!!!!!! [MASSIVE HEEL POP!] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | WINNER: Twinkletoes Twilliger | | | | FINISH: Twinkling Triple Flip Moonsault| | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Fans boo and hiss loudly as they throw garbage and half filled beer cups into the ring. TT gets up and starts dancing in celebration. Elbitz blurts something from his megaphone and then starts to dance with TT. The Twinkettes, TT's backup dancers, climb through the ropes and join in the dancing with the same level of interest they showed during TT's ring entrance. The abuse from the fans continue until the celebration tapers off, and the group exits the ring, as the projectors fire up... *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* ON THE SCREENZ *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* [In the back is where the camera takes us, where Ryan FUCKING Delaney is busy pacing in front of a line of... referees?!?! Delaney is dressed in his usual garb, his shirt reading today "I MISS JERRY!". As Delaney walks, he doesn't look very happy.] DELANEY: Felllas... Fellas, _FELLAS_.... [Pause.] DELANEY: I know this is _DERP_, where madness reigns supreme and violence flows like water in a stream! I get all that. I built this company, didn't I?!?! [Laughs.] DELANEY: And as a part of building this company, I have to oversee certain things and make sure things are running as smoothly as possible. _PART_ of that is making sure you guys do your JOBS! [Pause, as the ref's grow a bit nervous,] DELANEY: Now, I didn't call this meeting cause any of you have FAILED to do your job. I haven't called this meeting because there has been some sort of GROSS misconduct of anyone. I called this meeting for one simple reason...... to make sure tonight goes off without a _HITCH_! [Another pause.] DELANEY: You see, in a few short weeks the _24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP_ will be in play. That means this title can and WILL be defended at all times of the day in all sorts of locations. That means _YOU_, the referees, have to be prepared to be on yer toes, on call at a moments notice and ready to make the count where ever need be. That, my folks, is why tonight's fatal four way is... FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE! [Smile cracks Delaney's face.] DELANEY: Consider tonight a TEST for the future, almost like a _fire drill_ if you want. You will have FOUR men in that ring, and they _WILL_ take the fight every in this DERP arena, I can promise you. If you can't handle refereeing a match like this _tonight_, when I will have all _FIVE_ of you at ringside... Then don't bother showing up next week because your services won't be needed! [Delaney pause, staring into each of the referees eyes, making sure they get the message loud and clear.] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* SCREENS RETURN TO DERP LOGO *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Wow! Ryan FUCKING Delaney laying down the law at DERP owner! Interesting to see the "Suburban Abomination" handle his duties! Seems like Delaney really wants to make sure despite all the chaos and confusion that DERP brings to the table, the one thing that remains consistent: good refereeing. We don't want any Jerry Meals incidents in DERP, now do we?!?! As the referees pour out the back, fresh from their little pep talk, one of the participants from the fatal four makes their way to the ring.... "You should know... I’m _REGISTERED_ in PITTSBURGH!!!" ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! [The crowd go absolutely nuts, as everyone’s favorite Registered Sex Offender, Frank Wilkes, pushes through the backstage curtains. RSO raises his arm in the air to thunderous applause; those members of the crowd that aren’t clapping, instead use their free hands to pelt the entranceway with hotel keys, panties, and macaroni art, hoping to get the sexual deviant’s attention. Wilkes is covered from head to toe in deep scars. The only thing holding his forehead together is liquid plastic. Light scratches run into heavy gauze, with half the man’s body wrapped up like a Mummy. Wilkes has been in a war. The spoils of that war, a large golden belt, rests around his waist... possibly holding more bandages in place.] Frank Wilkes: DERP... sorry I’m late. *THANKS FOR COMING, FRANK!* Frank Wilkes : I couldn't make the first show... I had some obligations to take care of... over in a little federation called, GNAW. *WE LOVE GNAW!* Frank Wilkes : Yeah... so when the first DERP house show was going on, I was over at the Viking Hall, kicking Simon Bach’s teeth down his throat. Barbwire match... cut myself to ribbons. Medical staff didn't want to clear me to wrestle tonight... but like I told the doctors, if a few scratches keep me out of action, how the fuck am I going to survive in DERP? [RSO fingers one of the scars on his wrist, waiting a moment for the subsequent DERP chanting to die down.] Frank Wilkes: ...So I might look like a mess, but I crawled through that wire... and came out on the other side with a lump of Simon Bach’s flesh... and THIS... [Using his free hand to unfasten the gold belt, Wilkes keeps a hand on one of the straps, swinging the large eye sore around. No sooner has the strap been removed, than little blood stains start to pool around the clean bandages beneath. Wilkes holds the belt up in the air as flash photography starts to go off throughout the arena.] Frank Wilkes: ...The GNAW Heavyweight title... I lost a lot of blood, sweat, and tears over in Great North AMERICAN Wrestling... for how short its life was, I had some of my toughest battles, and fondest memories in that federation. This represents all over those. Bringing this gold out here... this isn't me trying to put DERP down... you're the future... I just wanted everyone to know what I was doing when WE were putting on the first house show... [Turning slightly, Wilkes looks at the shiny GNAW championship...] Frank Wilkes : I was being the most violent guy in Pennsylvania. This could just as easily be the DERP Heavyweight title... in fact... it’s going to be... [Still awkwardly holding the belt, Wilkes frees up his thumb and index finger to rip a piece of medical tape off his shoulder. No sooner has the scrap been removed than more blood starts to pour out. Wilkes carefully presses the tape over the "GNAW" part of the championship belt, then looks up... a helpful production assistant throws him a sharpie.] Frank Wilkes: Did I apologize for being late? I wasn't late. I was here first. ’I've spent the summer cutting my name across this hardcore world... ’I've been giving everyone what they want. It’s Bullzeye, Black, and Marime that are late coming to this little party! [Pulling the cap off with his mouth, Wilkes rests the belt against his arm, writing "DERP across the tape. Finished, Wilkes lets the marker drop out of his mouth, before holding the belt up again to a big pop from the crowd.] Frank Wilkes: This title represents the BEST of EXTREME... it might have started out with GNAW, but it will be the Steel City Heavyweight Championship!!! Tonight I show what I can do against three other men... but summer is just warming up... at the bring your own weapons battle royal, I will reign supreme, and when I win, you will know that this... [Shakes the GNAW heavyweight title to emphasis point...] Frank Wilkes: Will make me... the heavyweight champion of DERP!!! [Wilkes drops the microphone, before striking another pose with his championship. The flash photography continues, the crowd delighted to have the coolest sex offender in the world on the roster.] RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! RSO! Wilkes continues to parade around the ring, as the rest of his competitors make their way to the ring. All three of them look a lot better for the wear. Wilkes looks as if he's going to be lucky to get out of this match alive. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | FATAL FOUR WAY -- FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE | | | | "RSO" FRANK WILKES | | vs | | MARIME THE MISCHEVIOUS | | vs. | | JOSHUA BLACK | | vs. | | BULLZEYE | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Bullzeye, Wilkes, Black and the clown all eye each other up, eyes darting back and forth waiting to see who makes the first move... Black, who's busy starting daggers at Wilkes, turns to his right and charges Marime, knocking the clown into the corner with a shoulder block. Reacting, Bullzeye charges Wilkes, who sees him coming, and lowers the shoulder, lifting Bullzeye over the top rope... NO! Bullzeye hooks the rope and lands on the apron! He grabs Wilkes from behind.. REVERSE SUPLEX! Bullzeye lifts Wilkes up and outta the ring, throwing him onto the guardrail, belly first! Bullzeye leaps to the top rope, and springs of... GULLITONE LEG DROP!!! HE MIGHTA JUST KILLED "THE REGISTARRED ONE!" D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! Meanwhile in the ring, Black has Marime backed up into the corner. He goes for a headbutt, but Marime ducks out of the way, and hits a dropkick to Black's back, forcing him into the corner chest force! Marime gets to his feet quickly, and catches Black with a.. REVERSE DDT! He then gets up, runs to the ropes... SPRINGBOARD SENTON! Black rolls around in pain, as Marime lays on the mat, trying to catch his breath. On the outside, Bullzeye is to his feet, dragging Wilkes to his feet as well, who wounds are already gushing. Bullzeye grabs a cookie shit from a near by fan... AND BENDS IT OVER WILKES' HEAD! He drops it to the ground, electing instead for a chair from the crowd! He doesn't go swinging for the fences, though. Instead he sits it up on the outside, before pulling "the RegiSTARed One" to his feet. Bullzeye lifts him up... going for an atomic drop.... BUT USES THE CHAIR INSTEADA' HIS KNEE!!! [THAT HARD TO HURT POP!] Back in the ring, Marime pulls Black to his feet, deciding to whip him into the ropes. He goes a flying knee, but Black drops to the mat, and Marime jumps over him. Marime leaps again, going for a moonsault it seems, but Black just catches Marime cold, and drops him with a.. CRADLE PILEDRIVER! He goes for the pin... 1... KICK OUT! Black shakes his head, but doesn't seem very discouraged, as he pulls Marime from the mat, giving him a few elbow shots along the way. But he takes him right back down with a vicious Russian leg sweep, and then floats over... locking on a ANKLE LOCK!!! Black squats right on Marime's back, twisting the hell out of his foot! Marime squirms and squirms, reaching back to grab about of any piece of Black he can... but he's getting nothing! Marime switches up strategies, trying to either roll out of it or reach the ropes... But Black sits back even harder, not giving Marime any chance to get out.... SSSSMMMMMMMAAAAACCCCKKKKK! [HEEL POP!] Bullzeye to the top rope, leaping off, chair in hand... right to the dome of Black, who never saw it coming! Black breaks the hold, as he basically goes limp. Bullzeye then puts the chair on Black's body, and runs to the ropes... SPRINGBOARD SENTON BOMB! He scrambles back to Black for the cover 1... 2... KICKOUT!!! As Bullzeye slaps away at Black, upset he kicked out, Wilkes crawls limply back into the ring, with a chair in one hand and a... bag of tacks on another!?!? Wilkes dumps the tacks all over the ring before going on the attack... and it costs him! Bullzeye charges, carthweeling across the ring... AND PLANTING AN ELBOW ON WILKES' JAW! Frank backs up into the corner, Bullzeye charges again... Frank goes to swing with the chair... AND EATS NOTHING BUT STEEL!!! Bullzeye with the dropkick! Frank take a few steps and stumbles, falling in between the ropes and out of the ring, looking more dead than alive! Black gets to his feet, see Bullzeye with a chair and tacks all over the ring... and bails! He rolls to the outside, not wanting any part of that insanity. Bullzeye pays no attention to black, as he stands near the ropes talking trash as Frank lays on the concrete floor... as Marime taps him on the right shoulder! Bullzeye turns around, fists raised but sees nothing, before Marime leaps to the top rope and catches him with a bulldog from behind... RIGHT ONTO THE TACKS!!! Luckily, Bullzeye's torso landed in the pile more so than the rest of him, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt! Marime picks up the chair laying in the corner, and slams it across Bullzeye's chest, driving those tacks deeper in Bullzeye's flesh! Marime leaves the chair on Bullzeye's chest, electing for a... STANDING MOONSAULT! He hooks the leg! 1... 2... SHOULDER UP! On the outside, Black has reached Wilkes, who is busy kneeling and bleeding everywhere. Black pulls him the rest of the way to his feet, and whips him into the guardrail, blood spraying the front row. He throws a forearm shot to the head, and whips Black around the ringside area into the other side's guardrail, spraying more blood! Black charges in... KNEE LIFT! Wilkes is rocked, as Black stays on the attack, twisting his left arm with an armbar. Black walks Wilkes away from the ropes a little bit, kicks over a nearby chair, collapsing to the ground. He screams at the DEPP crowd, "Is _THIS_ what you want?" as he drops Wilkes... WITH A ROCKER DROPPER ON THE CHAIR!!! Black rolls him over and goes for the pin! 1... 2...... KICKOUT!!!! [HOW THE HELL DID HE FUCKIGN DO THAT FACE POP!] But it's not all good news, as Black stands up, choosing to jaw at the crowd as Wilkes lays there in a bloody pile. Referees soon surround him and begin discussing something.... AS ONE CALLS TO THE BACK!!! A team of DERP medics rush to the ring, stretcher in hand..... AND START LOADING FRANK!!! The fans instantly utter their displeasure, as Black smiles, waving bye bye to his opponent, as Frank finds it in him to.. FLICK HIM OFF! The crowd roars, but quickly turns to boos as.... ANNOUNCER: ....AND FRANK WILKES HAS BEEN RULED UNABLE TO CONTINUE! HE IS THUS _ELIMINATED_ FROM THIS MATCH! Black leans on the guardrail, watching the action inside the ring, fans crowing at him for being afraid of a little hardcore action. Inside the ring, Bullzeye has Marime locked in a rear waistlock... GERMAN SUPLEX INTO THE PILE OF TACKS!!! Bullzeye isn't the only one with tacks stuck in his flesh!!! Marime thrashes around, as Bullzeye leans on the ropes pulling some tacks out of his flesh while he catches a breath. Bullzeye decides break times over and grabs Marime by the hair and throws him right out of the ring!!! Marime lands on his feet, but catches a nasty clothesline from Black! Bullzeye leaps to the top rope... and falls off!!! He crashes awkwardly to the floor below! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! Both Marime and Bullzeye lay on the side of the ring, sucking wind, trying to find that strength to continue. Black approaches Marime, who instantly gives him a thumb between the eyes, and kick to the knee! The crazy clown gets to his feet, and grabs Black by the head... SLAMMING IT OFF THE GUARDRAIL! He then whips him into the corner. Marime backs up just a bit... and goes for a double back hand spring... launches into a handspring... AND HE LANDS A DOUBLE KICK TO BLACK'S FACE! Both men hit the concrete, but at least Marime's moving! Giving Marime a golf cap, Bullzeye watches from his knees as both men now begin to recoup. He takes his time looking underneath the ring.... PULLING OUT A LADDER! Not only is Bullzeye happy with his find, so are the DERP faithful! Bullzeye carries the ladder over near to where his opponents lay, choosing to sit the ladder so one ends on the ring apron, and the other's on the guard rail. He slaps with full of satisfaction as he decides to first pull Marime to his feet. Bullzeye hits him with a few punches, as he pulls the clown closer to the ladder. Bullzeye then hooks him for a... VERTICAL SUPLEX ON THE LADDER! Marime BOUNCES off the ladder, and flops to the cement below! The crowd goes wild for the violence! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! Bullzeye points to Black and the crowd erupts! He goes over to Black, gives him a few kicks to the head before pulling him to his feet. He hooks him for a suplex too, but... HEATHER BLACK TRIES TO PULL BULLZEYE OFF! She digs her claws into him, and it works! Bullzeye drops Joshua... BUT GRABS HEATHER BY THE THROAT! He turns her around, so her back is against the ladder, and picks the little lady up..... CHOKESLAM ON THE LADDER!!!!! HEATHER FLOPS AROUDN ON THE LADDER BEFORE FALLING OFF! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! Bullzeye raises his arms, proud of his behavior, as Black turns him around just FUMMING at the mouth, anger dripping from his pores. Straight right hand, straight left hand! Black is just rocking Bullzeye's world, kicking him in the gut...BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!!! FISHERMAN'S SUPLEX WITH THE BRIDGE FOR THE PIN!!! 1.... 2... KICKOUT!!! [WHY WON'T YOU DIE HEEL POP!] Black just begins to swing away at Bullzeye, still just irate. Finally he tires, and decides to crawl over to where the DERP EMTs are checking Ms. Black. They begin to carry her to the back, as Joshua turns around, a whole new set of angry. He eyes up the ladder, as both Marime and Bullzeye slowly pull themselves together. Black pulls the ladder from its perch, and kicks Bullzeye over so he's laying next to Marime. Black then... SUPLEXES THE LADDER ONTO THE BOTH OF THEM!!! He gets to his feet and again taunts the crowd, as he pulls Marime out from under neath the ladder... locking his arm in a leg scissor, and wrenching back on his neck with a crossface hold, Black calls this the BLACKOUT! The ref gets in real close, waiting for Marime to tap...... BUT THE CLOWN JUST LAUGHS INSESINTLY!!! Black tries to wrench back even harder, as Bullzeye climbs to his feet. Wary of this, Black releases the hold, but Bullzeye leaps to the guardrail... SPRINGBOARD PLANCHA! Both men go down in a heap! [HIGH RISK BUT WE STILL HATE YOU POP!] As Black's eyes roll back into his head, and Bullzeye pulls himself up with the guardrail, Marime has gotten to his feet, and decides to use the ladder AS A BATTERING RAM! He slams it into Bullzeye's torso.... and does it again! He then backs up and slams Bullzeye so hard with it, Bullzeye goes up and over the guard rail into the crowd! Marime instantly drops the ladder, and leaps to the top of the guardrail... SPRINGBOARD HEADBUTT!!!! Marime hooks the leg! 1... 2...... KICK OUT!!! [FUCK YOU BULLZEYE, WE WANT MARIME TO WIN POP!] Marime sits back on his knees, obviously feeling the effects of this match. He gets to his feet, and plays to the DERP audience a bit, who assists Marime by giving him a fryin pan! Bullzeye rolls to his knees, as Marime brings the pan down across the small of his back! he then sits it on Bullzeye chest... and leaps high into the air... DOUBLE FOOT STOMP ON THE PAN! [VIOLENT CLOWNS ARE COOL POP!] Marime nearly loses his balance and falls over. The fans catch him, but quickly scatter as JOSHUA BLACK approaches... WITH THAT LADDER IN HAND! He slams Marime in the gut with it, and then spins, catching the clown right upside the head with it, screaming "THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, RIGHT? I'M HARDCORE!" He then turns his focus to Bullzeye, slamming him with it as Bullzeye tries to get to his feet. He does it once... twice, and thr--NO! Bullzeye grabs the ladder and slams it against the near by set of bleachers, the vibrations forcing Black to drop it! This allows Bullzeye to come charging... SPINNING HEEL KICK! Black drops, as Bullzeye doesn't let up, hitting him with a double axe handle. As Wilkes hits the ground, Bullzeye grabs the severely dented ladder and throws it on the ground. He lifts up the one half of it, and locks it in place... The crowd seems kinda confused, but Bullzeye, he's got a plan! He first pulls Black to his feet... HIP TOSS ONTO THE OPEN LADDER! He then grabs Marime... GIVES HIM A HIP TOSS ONTO THE LADDER! Now both men lay in between the ladder legs as... Bullzeye gives the ladder a SPLASH!!! It sandwiches both men inside!!! But, Bullzeye isn't done... with the ladder now closed on both men,. Bullzeye up backs up a bit.... Runs towards the pile of flesh and metal he made.... RUNNING MOONSAULT ONTO THE LADDER! BOTH MEN SANDIWCHED IN BETWEEN!!! And both men are on their backs!!! Bullzeye lays on the ladder, demanding a referee count the pin! 1... 2....... 3!!!!!!! BUT BLACK ROLLED OFF! JOSHUA BLACKED ROLLED OFF!!! [NOT OUR HERO BUT THAT WAS STILL COOL POP!] ANNOUNCER: ...AND MARIME THE MISCHEVIOUS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!! Bullzeye leans against the bleachers, clutching his chest, as Black is slow to get to his feet. Black, near the fans, gets handed a chair and he takes it and just laughs. He tosses it back, as Bullzeye comes up from behind... Chair in hand! CLLLLAAAANNNNGGG!!!! But Black ducked, and Bullzeye caught nothing but bleachers! Bullzeye goes for another shot at Black... BUT BLACK CATCHES HIM WITH A DROP TOE HOLD! He then scrambles, grabbing Bullzeye's legs...... BOSTON CRAB!!!! Black just wrenches back, "THIS IS HARDCORE!" he screams. Bullzeye doesn't scream, he seems to just bite his leap and stretch... stretch... STRETCH towards that chair near by. His arms out... He trying so hard, as Black briefly lets up... AND THEN TORQUES BACK EVEN HARDER! Bullzeye feels the difference, grunting a bit more loudly before containing to reach... and reach... He then starts _CRAWLING_ on his forearms, trying to get that chair. Black picks up what he's onto, and tries to pull Bullzeye away... BUT BULLZEYE GRABS THE BLEACHERS! He pulls himself forward.... he gets the chair... AS BLACK BREAKS THE HOLD! Bullzeye scrambles to his feet, as Black turns around...SMAAAAAACKK! Black eats the chair anyhow!!! Bullzeye drops it to the ground, and hooks the wobbling Black.... JUMMPING DDT ON THE CHAIR!!!! But Bullzeye doesn't got for the pin! He's not done yet! He shakes out his legs as he takes a gift from the fans... A TOILET SEAT!!! Bullzeye first hooks the toilet seat around Black's neck before sitting the chair on it. He then backs up...RUNNING LEGDROP!!!! Now he hooks the leg... 1... 2...... SHOULDER UP!!!! [FUCKING PURIST, DIE ALREADY POP!]] Bullzeye gives the a chair a few kicks, before deciding to pull Joshua to his feet and start bullying him to the ring, basically tossing Black from the bleacher area the whole way to the guardrail. Luckily, the toilet seat has broken, and Bullzeye is unarmed... but that doesn't stop Bullzeye from slamming Black's head off the guardrail, before hopping over. Bullzeye sees they're right next to the steel steps, and just smiles one evil smile! He then hooks Black for a suplex... NO! Black blocks it! Bullzeye tries again... NO! Black blocks it again! witha primal scream, Bullzeye tires again... AND THIS TIME BLACK REVERSES IT! Black's got BULLZEYE high into the air... AND LAUNCHES HIM FORWARD ONTO THE STEEL STEPS! CLLLLLLLLAAAANNGGG! Bullzeye crashes down chest first!!! [THAT'S GOTTA FN HURT POP!] But Black's tank is running empty. He slowly makes his way over the guardrail, and to where Bullzeye is trying to collect himself. After a couple boots to the temple, Black pulls Bullzeye up to his feet, and tries to roll Bullzeye into the ring... Bullzeye has different plans, choosing to slam Black into the ring face first and then slides HIM into the ring. Bullzeye doesn't follow, as he... PULLS A TABLE FROM UNDERNEATH THE RING! He slides it into the ring, before rolling in himself... only to catch a baseball slide dropkick to his knee! Black bounces off the ropes again... KNEE TO THE HEAD! Bullzeye drops to the mat, but Black pulls him right back up locking him in a waist lock.... BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!! But Black holds on... ANOTHER BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!! And again he doesn't break the hold... A THIRD BELLY !!! Black breaks the hold, and gets to his feet yelling, "GREATNESS BITCH!!!" He then falls with a elbow on Bullzeye, going for a pin! 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES!!! [WE HATE YOU BUT FUCK JOSHUA BLACK POP!] Black gets to his feet and falls back into the corner, trying to get that seventh wind going. Bullzeye pulls himself to his knees, having to use the ropes for assistance. Joshua staggers over, and Bullzeye lunges with a shoulder tackle, taking Black to the mat! Both men get to their feet about the same time, but Bullzeye catches Black with another JUMPING DDT!!! But he doesn't elect to go for the cover! Instead, he picks up the table... and uses it to the bridge the cap between the ring and he guardrail!!!! He pulls Joshua to his feet, only to throw him through the ropes onto the table. Bullzeye grabs the chair that was sitting in the ring, and sits it up in the center of the ring. He backs against the far ropes, runs. jumps onto the chair, leaps to the top rope...... CORKSCREW MOONSAULT! CORKSCREW MOONSAULT ON BLACK THROUGH THE TABLE!!! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! The five referees assigned to the match surround the rubble. The men are not moving, not moving at all, as Bullzeye smacked his head off the guardrail once the table broke! Both look just completely out of it. One referee finally begins to count... 1... 2... Black's leg's flinch a bit! 3... Bullzeye's arm flops a lil! 4... 5... Black rolls over onto his stomach, coughing,... up.... blood!?!? no one can tell!!! 6... Black tries to sit up... AND FALLS RIGHT BACK DOWN! Bullzeye is crawly... SLOWLY... towards the ring apron!!! 7... Black decides the guardrails his best bet.... 8... BOTH MEN ARE TRYING.... 9.... TRYING SO HARD TO MAKE IT TO THEIR FEET! THEY BOTH COLLAPSE THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!! 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! BLACK HELD ON WITH ONE HAND!!! HE PULLED HIMSELF UPRIGHT IN TIME!!!!!!!!!! [WE ARE GOING TO FUCKING RIOT HEEL POP!] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | WINNER: Joshua Black | | | | FINISH: Bullzeye's Corkscrew moonsault | | backfired!! ! | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?!?! No one in the building was happy at all about this one. Black stumbles to the back, arm raised in the air, happy as can be, obviously forgetting that Heather is probably on their way to the hospital. Why would he be thinking of her, as he finds Wilkes GNAW Heavyweight title at ringside, taking it for himself. The DERP medics assist Bullzeye to his feet, but he doesn't' want their help, pushing them away, and one of them hard enough he landed on his kiester. As he walks up the rampway, a fan musta' said something he didn't like, as Bullzeye grips up by the shirt. Boo's rain out, as the Bullzeye cocks his arm back, going for swing.... BUT THE STAGE CREW STOPS HIM!!! Boo's continue as Bullzeye hits the curtain... ...and, as if on cue, the DERP projects fire up, giving the fans something to enjoy, as they take a bathroom and drink break before the main event. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* ON THE SCREENZ *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* [Scene opens backstage. To an enormous, five-foot high bucket of fried chicken. I wish I was kidding.] [Standing next to said bucket of chicken is DERP's resident leather-mask-wearing interviewer, Foodstamp. He's examining this odd attraction with some intense interest. He sniffs at it, the drool rolling from the corner of his mouth confirming that this is, indeed, real chicken. And a whole shit ton of it. Just as he reaches into the bucket to achieve his first true meal of the day...] DCGM: Moo. [Foodstamp literally jumps, turning around to see one hell of a sight... a six- foot-nine, 300+ pound monster with long, straight black hair bleached with white spots, the monster known now to the DERP world as "Da Cow God"...] DCGM: Moo. [Foodstamp stares at him, then stares back at the bucket of chicken. Then he stares back at Moo. Then back at the bucket of fried chicken, another trail of drool streaming down from the corner of his lips...] Foodstamp: Can I have some? [Moo stares at him.] Foodstamp: Um, please? [Moo continues to stare, before raising one eyebrow.] DCGM: Who are you? [Foodstamp looks almost taken aback.] Foodstamp: Why, I am Foodstamp, of course! Harbinger of doom and herald of the glorious violence in the realm of DERP! [Moo shakes his head.] DCGM: Too many words. I will call you... Stampy. Foodstamp: But Foodstamp isn't that long. DCGM: No, it is not. Neither is Stampy. Foodstamp: Er... OK. And who are you, again? DCGM: I am the King of the Bovine. The Protector of the Moo. The God of All Things Beef. But you may call me... ... Moo. Foodstamp: May I have some of this delicious chicken, Moo? [Moo nods.] DCGM: I like you, Stampy. The Chicken will, too. I am sure he would not mind if you consumed a couple of pieces of his chicken. Foodstamp: That's right, Cow and Chicken. Where is the Chicken? DCGM: He is not here. But he would not mind if you had, let us say, three pieces of his chicken. Foodstamp: Are you sure? The Chicken won't get mad that I'm eating chicken? [Moo shakes his head.] DCGM: Of course not, Stampy. Chickens are noble and honorable creatures, much like my brethren bovine. To eet mor chikin is as noble a way to honor these creatures as any of which I could imagine. [Foodstamp grins, and immediately starts piling pieces of chicken into his arms.] DCGM: But please, Stampy, not too much. You might ruin the Chicken's surprise tonight. Foodstamp: He has a surprise? [Moo nods.] DCGM: Indeed. Now be on your way, Stampy. It is time for Moo to prepare to begin his valiant battle against the evil that exists in DERP. [Foodstamp nods, grabs two more quick pieces of chicken from the bucket, and disappears to the left. Moo examines briefly inside the bucket, nodding before disappearing to the right. Leaving the camera centered... on a five-foot- high... bucket... of... fried... chicken. Sigh.] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* SCREENS RETURN TO DERP LOGO *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! But the crowds spirits are greatly dampened as "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie comes over the DERP PA system, announcing the entrance of the Perfectly Perfect Duo. The crowd stands to their feet, garbage ready, and soon as the duo parts the corner. HEAVE HO GOES THE TRASH!!!!! Max and Lance pay no mind, waving and blowing kisses to the crowd, as they join WAD in the ring. Taelor Cole won't take his eyes off Max, not one single bit. WHERES YOUR CRACKWHORE?!?! CLAP. CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WHERES YOUR CRACKWHORE?!?! CLAP. CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WHERES YOUR CRACKWHORE?!?! CLAP. CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WHERES YOUR CRACKWHORE?!?! CLAP. CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WHERES YOUR CRACKWHORE?!?! CLAP. CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP And then, for as loud as the DERP audience boo 'd PPD, they were even LOUDER once... * ARE YOU READY... * * ... TO OBEY ... * * ... THE COW GOD? * [YES WE ARE POP~! The continuing instrumental version of Green Jelly's "Obey the Cow God" as the barnyard animals... Err, should I write... barnyard ANIMAL, as it's "Da Cow God" and... the big bucket of chicken, being rolled to the ring on an appliance dolly?!?!?! Moo just smiles. slapping the fans hands as he makes his way to the ring. He instructs the bucket to be parked right at ringside, as he rolls into the ring, his opponents with their eyes all on the bucket of chicken. EET MOR CHIKIN! EET MOR CHIKIN! EET MO CHIKIN! EET MOR CHIKIN! EET MOR CHIKIN! EET MO CHIKIN! EET MOR CHIKIN! EET MOR CHIKIN! EET MO CHIKIN! EET MOR CHIKIN! EET MOR CHIKIN! EET MO CHIKIN! EET MOR CHIKIN! EET MOR CHIKIN! EET MO CHIKIN! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | MAIN EVENT - TORNADO TAG RULES | | | | PERFECTLY PERFECT DUO | | vs | | COW AND CHICKEN | | vs. | | WEAPONS OF ASS DESTRUCTION | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* The Studd brothers discuss some strategy, as the Weapons of Ass Destruction use the ropes to stretch a bit, as "Da Cow God" stands in his corner, partnerless, arms across his chest, not a bit worry of his mind. The bell rings, and PPD go _immediatly_ after Taelor Cole, who backs into his corner, begging for mercy... but PPD just _unload_ on the man! They lift him up for a double atomic drop! Cole screams like a little girl and dives around! PPD laughs, and heads right on out after him! Meanwhile... Moo and Jackson tie up, before Jackson turns it not a sidelock, but Moo, using his power, just lifts Jackson into the air for a suplex, breaking the hold! Both men get to their feet, but Moo gets the brunt of it, as Jackson hits him with a flying lariat, and then... locks on a sleeper hold!!! As Jackson goes to strangle the life out of Moo, Lance Studd whips Taelor at Max... DROPKICK! Taelor stumbles backwards, Lance scoops him.... POWERSLAM! The brothers high five, as the fans near by give them some shit. As Lance gives them some shit back, Max digs under the ring... pulling out a TRASHCAN!!! He calls out to Lance, who turns around, and listening to his brother, pulls Taelor to his feet... ONLY TO HAVE THE TRASHCAN PLACED OVER HIS TORSO! The Studd brothers then each grab a chair.... DOUBLE CHAIR SHOT TO THE CAN! Cole drops like a dead fish! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! The brothers high five again, as they know turn their attention to the ring where Moo has got back to the fighting position, elbowing Jackson again and again,.. finally breaking the sleeper hold! Max and Lance roll into the ring, still carrying their chairs. Moo breaks the hold, pushing Jackson right off of, him but he doesn't' see the PPD approaching.... CCCLLLLAAAANNNNKKK! PPD connects with a chair shot, sending Moo stumbling into the corner. They don't even glance at Jackson, who's deciding to keep his distance, having watching Cole get trounced outside... Moo tries to fight off the PPD with rights, lefts and a few kicks. But they just keep using those chairs! Now they're utilizing a thrusting motion, just abusing every part of Moo's body they can... and then the crowd begins to roar!!! So loud, PPD stops the assault, trying to look around for the source.... AND IT HITS THEM RIGHT IN THE FACE!!! El Polla Loco came out from under the ring, and just cross body blocked PPD... DRIVING THOSE CHAIRS RIGHT INTO THEIR OWN ABODMENS! [MASSIVE FACE POP!] Loco first checks on "Da Cow God", but he assures him he's fine. Jackson sees his opportunity now, but catches a spinning heel kick for his efforts! Loco wastes no time, leaps to the top rope... SPRINGBAORD BULLDOG ON JACKSON! Loco just slams "You've Got Male" right into the mat! Loco goes for the pin! 1... 2...... SHOULDER UP! By now Moo has regained himself and is busy laying boots into the PPD. He calls over to Loco, who approaches... and Moo HIPTOSSES HIM RIGHT INTO PPD... AND THE CHAIRS! Max rolls out of the ring, but Lance isn't so lucky. As now Moo drags Lance to his feet, and puts him on his shoulder. Loco runs right up the turnbuckles, turns on a dime, and leaps.... SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK!!! Lance goes over the ropes to the outside on the concrete! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! The barnyard animal lovers do bit of celebrating, with El Polla Loco doing his superhero pose for the delight of many! But being ring vets, they regain their focus... which is now on Leslie Jackson. Jackson gets to his feet, gets into a fighting pose, but soon as the BSCW legends move in... HE HOPS THE TOP ROPE AND GOES TO THE OUTSIDE! The fans just let him have it, and he turns around to confront them... As Cow picks up Loco, military press style... AND THROWS HIM RIGHT AT JACKSON! Both men smack into the guardrail with such force! [MORE MASSIVE FACE POP AWESOMNESS!] Now Moo's the only one left in the ring, as Cole hasn't moved much outside, the Studd brothers are slowly regrouping, Max being more steady on his feet than Lance, and Loco and Jackson are both out on the outside, near the bucket of fried chicken. He tries to weigh his options, and decides to roll outside on the side of the PPD and Cole. As Moo hits the ground, Cole begins to stir. Cow puts the end to that with a big stomp, his eyes locking on Max Studd, who is leaning against the guardrail. The two exchange blows, with Cow's definitely landing with more impact, but Max catches Moo with a jawbreaker, sending Moo stumbling into the guardrail. Max gives Lance a playful kick, trying to get him moving, as he begins to chop away at Cow's chest! In between every chop, Max makes sure to say something smart to the crowd! Lance begins to stir, getting to his knees. Max yells at him to hurry up, as Max rips a chair out of a fans hands... and just throws it at Moo! The chair lands just perfectly so now it's just hanging around Moo's head, as MAx charges... SHINING WIZARD! FOR THE LOVE OF PDD ON COW WITH THAT CHAIR AROUDN HIS HEAD! [BIG HEEL POP!] As Cow slumps against the guardrail, Max goes to help Lance to get his feet and shake off the cobwebs. On the other side of the ring near that bucket of chicken, Loco and Jackson are finally beginning to stir. Loco gets to his knees, using the ring for support. Back on the other side, Max has gotten Lance to his feet, and now they both move in on Moo. They pull him off the guardrail, put his arms around their heads going for a double suplex.... BUT INSTEAD THE BASICALYL THROW COW FOWARD VOER THE GUARDRAIL INTO THE STANDS! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! The DERP faithful letting the Studd brothers have it as they climb into the crowd. Security gets a bit anxious, as the Studd brothers don't back down at all, verbally abusing every fan they possible can! Max even spits a fat loogie right in the ones fans face! Moo begins to stir, as Lance pulls him the rest of the way to his feet, as Max grabs a chair... Lance whips Cow... CHAIR SHOT BY MAX! Cow crumples to the ground! As PPD again berates some fans, taking their time with Moo, Jackson is now to his feet as well as Loco! Loco charges, Jackson with a armdrag taken down! Loco back up, but Jackson grips him with a Russian leg sweep! Loco squirms, and uses the ring to get to his feet again, as Jackson lays into him with more forearm shots. Jackson pulls Loco to his feet, but Loco fights back and fights back... he finally picks him up into a fireman's carry... AND DROPS HIM WITH A FIREMAN'S CARRY DDT ON THE FLOOR! EET MOR CHIKIN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP  EET MOR CHIKIN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP EET MOR CHIKIN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP EET MOR CHIKIN!! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP EET MOR CHIKIN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP As if Loco is hearing his fans, he stumbles his way to the chicken bucket, just looking like he's spent... He grabs a drumstick in each hand, looks at the DERP faithful who are verbally showing their approval... AND TAKES TWO BIG BTIES! And then other! And then some more! He takes in a deep breath, as if something is coming over him... throws the bones into the crowd... AND BEGINS TO POUND ON HIS CHEST, LETTING OUT A PRIMAL SCREAM! The crowd erupts! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! EL POLLA LOCO! Jackson's back to his feet, he spins Loco around and hits him with a nasty right. Loco doesn't even budge! Jackson tries another and another, but Loco just shakes his head no... before starting to throw punches of his own! Rights and lefts, lefts and rights, backing Jackson up with each step until... SPINNING HEEL KICK! Jackson falls back onto the guardrail. Loco puts to a fan to hold a chair in front of Jackson's face.... RUNNING DROPKICK! Jackson is busted up as he falls forward.... Loco leaps onto his shoulders.... CHICKENCANRANA ON THE CONCRETE! The fans are thunderous with their applause but Loco... all of sudden looks scared! He's searching all over hate ringside area for his mentor "Da Cow God!" Finally, he hears a desperate 'mooooooooo' call from the crowd and takes off running into the crowd! While Loco was getting his superpower swagger, Moo was just getting pummeled until the Studd brothers got the big man down and Lance locked on a ankle lock, as Max elected to go for a body scissors right in the middle of the ground, talking smack to all the near by fans. But the Studd brothers don't see Loco approaching, who's got himself a chair! at the last second they do, but it's too late for Lance, as Loco swings.... DOWN GOES LANCE! Max scrambles to get a chair of his own, but Loco doesn't let it happen, as he swings... DOWN GOES MAX! Loco then takes a breather, checking on his buddy. As Moo gathers himself, Loco runs and leaps... ARABAIAN FACE BUSTER ON LANCE! But Max is up, and comes up behind Loco witha sleeper hold... BUT LOCO SWIGNS THE CHAIR, WHAKCING HIMSEFL AND MAX!!! It does break the hold, as Max stumbles back. Moo charges and hits a punishing shoulder block, sending Max down to the ground. Loco looks and Moo, and without uttering a word to each other, they nod as Loco takes off... running?!?!? Where's he going!!?!? While Loco's off doing... something...!?!? the crowd begins to get the idea that the barnyard animals are up to something, as Moo finds himself a table, and sits up right near the edge of the stand of bleachers. He pulls Lance up the cement, hits him with a few uppercuts, before placing lance onto the table. Max is already on his feet, and tries to fight back, but Cow headbutts him into submission, rolling him onto Lance... with Max's crotch in Lance's face, and visa versa! The crowd begins to laugh, and then soon cheer as El Polla Loco appears... AT THE TOP OF THE BLEACHER STANDS! That's about twenty feet in the air! He climbs up onto the safety fence.......... SUICIDE DIVE! SUICIDE DIVE ONTO PPD THROUGH THE TABLE!!!! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! The crowd is just standing on their feet, just amazed by what they're witnessing! Moo digs through the rubble and bodies, pulling El Polla Loco out! Moo lifts him onto his shoulder, and with a hand raised, carries him through the crowd, heading back towards the ring. Along the way, they receive high fives, slaps on the back (and butt) and words of encouragement. Moo scales the guardrail, not missing a beat, and gets to the ring, rolling Loco in. Moo then goes over to where Taelor Cole has been laying virtually all match, and rolls him into the ring, trashcan and all. Moo then slides in himself. He bounces off the ropes, comes back at cole... BIG SPLASH ONTO THE TRASH CAN! He then goes for the pin... 1... 2....... JACKSON WITH THE SAVE!!! He just dives through the ropes outta desperation, breaking up the count. Loco has gotten himself into the sitting position in the corner, as Cow get back to his feet, as does Jackson. Cow approaches... big boot to the face of Cow! He stumbles back a bit, but doesn't' go down! Jackson starts in with a few punches, before electing to whip Cow into the ropes... Jackson goes for a hip toss, but Cow blocks it... NASTY CLOTHESLINE FROM COW! Cow calls out to Loco in the corner... Moo picks up Jackson with sidewalk slam, but doesn't let him go. He just holds him there, as Loco gets on the apron, and slingshots himself over.... SPIKING THE SIDEWALK SLAM WITH A SLINGSHTO LEGDROP -- BEEF AND POULTTRY AS THEY CALL IT! The fans want the BSCW legends to go for the win, but looks like they have other ideas, as Loco looks right at Moo.... And screams... "MOOOOOOO! LET'S GET THE TABLES!" Instantly, the barnyard duo drop to the mat and roll to the ring, on opposite sides. With the help of some DERP stage crews, the drag table after table after TABLE from out from underneath the ring. They elect to slide a few into the ring, and then... then give the stage hands instructions to set up the tables... ON TOP OF EACH OTHER! There is now a set of DOUBLE TABLES on either side of the ring! WE LOVE TABLES! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WE LOVE TABLES! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WE LOVE TABLES! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WE LOVE TABLES! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP Cow and Chicken roll into the ring, and set up a table in the ring, one in each corner. Loco rolls Cole, trash can and all, onto the one table. Moo pulls Jackson to his feet, and clubs him up against the ropes. Loco rolls under the table, and climbs to the top rope. Moo kicks Jackson in the gut and looks at Loco... Cow lets out a big ole "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" as he hooks Jackson with a.... GUTWRENCH SIT OUT POWERBOMB... THORUGH THE TABLE -- BOVINE BOMB! And at the same time, Loco leaps off the top rope... SHOOTING STAR PRESS -- THE CHICKEN'S CLUCK! The crowd just _EXPLODES_! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! COW AND CHICKEN! Needless to say, WAD is just out of it! Both barnyard animals go for the cover... 1... MAX AND LANCE OVER THE GUARDRAILS!!! 2....... THEY REACH THE RING!!!! AND THE PULL THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!!!! [MASSIVE HEEL POP!] WHERES'S YOUR CRACKWHORE! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WHERES'S YOUR CRACKWHORE! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WHERES'S YOUR CRACKWHORE! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WHERES'S YOUR CRACKWHORE! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP As the referee gets to his feet outside an begins to berate the Studd brothers, who are paying no attention, the DERP stage crew pull Taelor Cole and Leslie Jackson out of the ring, concerned for their condition. Cow grows tired of the discussion, picks his little buddy up, gorilla press... HE THROWS HIM AT THE STUDD BROTHERS! CROSS BODY BLOCK TAKES EVERYONE DOWN, EVEN THE REF! [HIGH FLYING SPOT POP!] Moo wastes no time and rolls out of the ring, where everyone barely conscious it seems. This is on the one side of the ring without tables or a bucket of chicken. Moo first checks on his little buddy, helping them to his feet. He then begins to lay a boot into each member of the PPD, before first helping Max up and rolling him into the ring, followed by doing the same with Lance. Inside the ring, Loco is leaning on the turnbuckles, obviously worse for the wear but still full of fight. Both members of PPD try to get to their feet, as Loco runs across the ring, leaps to the top rope... CHICKENSAULT!!! Loco hits a springboard moonsault on _BOTH_ Studd brothers! He goes for the pin on Lance! 1... 2...... KICK OUT! But Moo is now in the ring, armed with a frying pan gifted from the crowd. Max gets to his feet... CLLLLLAAAANNNNGG! Pan shot sends him right back down! Loco lifts Lance up, sends him running at Moo..... CLLLLLLAAAAANNNGGG! Another pan shot, breaking the handle even! Lance hits the mat, now split wide open! Loco goes for the pin, Moo hops on top!!!!! BUT THERE'S NO REFEREE!!!!!!! [WHERE THE FUCK IS A REF WHEN YOU WANT ONE HEEL POP!] Max picks up the remains of the frying pan, as Moo gets to hi feet, realizing no one counts... CCCCLLLLAAANNNG! Pan shot on Moo sends the big man down! Loco isn't pleased, charging Max... Loco ducks the pan shot, and turns around... BUT HE CAN'T DUCK THE SECOND ONE! CLLLLLAAAAANNGGG! Loco stumbles back into the ropes, as now Lance gets to his feet! The Studd brothers eye up the near by table, right behind Loco! They first put a few boots to Cow who was trying to get to back to an upright position, and then move in on Loco. The whip him into the ropes, positioning themselves near the ropes, with eh tables only a few feet behind them... Loco comes running back, both Studd brothers duck their shoulders and lift... AND LOCO FLIPS OVER THE TOP ROPE... BUT DOES SOME PARCORE SHIT, LEAPING FROM THE ROPES ONTO THE TABLES! Max and Lance turn around confused on why they didn't hear table breakage... FLYING DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE BY LOCO AS HE DIVES BACK INTO THE RING!!! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! CRA-ZEE CHICK-IN! Moo first helps Loco to his feet, as the two do some communicating. Moo moves over to Max, helping him to his feet, only to lock him up and lift him into the air... BRAINBUSTER!!! Moo takes a deep breath, and gets to his feet, now moving over to Lance. He motions to Loco, who walks his way over to the corner closet to one of the stacks of _TABLES_! He slowly climbs to the top, as Moo pulls Lance over... Moo gorilla presses Lance, high into the air... HE DROPS HIM ON THE TABLES! But only the one breaks!!! LOCO TAKES CARE OF THAT!!! CHICKEN'S CLUCK THROUGH THE REMAINING TABLE!!!!! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT HOLE-LEE SHIT! Moo walks over to the ropes, trying to call out to his little buddy, but there's nothing but broken pieces of table and broken bodies. And Moo doesn't even get much of a chance, as Max sneaks up behind him... SCHOOL BOY! AND _NOW_ THE REF'S DOING HIS JOB! 1... 2... KICKOUT! [MASSIVE FACE POP!] Both Moo and Max get to their feet, and both decide to take a moment in opposite corners to collect themselves. Max naturally talks some smack as he takes a moment to stretch out his limbs before moving into the middle of the ring. Cow follow suit, but is on the receiving end of a kick to the gut, followed by forearm shots to the back of the head! Max then whips Cow into the ropes, picking up Cole's trashcan.... HE SLAMS IT OVER COW'S HEAD! And does it again! and again! But Cow just won't go down! Max backs up, bouncing off the ropes... RUNNING CAN SHOT! And Cow's down to one knee! Max backs up again, going for another running shot... BUT LOCO TRIPS HIM OUTTA NO WHERE!!!! MAX FALLS FORWARD AND EATS NOTHING BUT CAN! Loco collapses at ringside, very little energy left.. Cow sees this and has a dilemma on his hand. He looks at Max, and then at ringside where Loco is laying... and then at max, and then at t Loco... and then... ROLLS OUT OF THE RING, TOWARDS THE CHICKEN! He grabs two pieces and runs over Loco, giving his little buddy the greasy fried delight.... AND LOCO SPRIGNS TO HIS FEET!!! SUPERHERO POSE BABY!!! FUCK THEM UP! FUCK THEM UP! FUCK THEM UP! FUCK THEM UP! FUCK THEM UP! FUCK THEM UP! FUCK THEM UP! FUCK THEM UP! FUCK THEM UP! Loco leaps to the apron in a single bound, and does the same to get to the top rope! Moo rolls into the ring, chair in hand. He slams it down onto Max, rolling the PPA member over on his back, placing the chair on his chest. He then backs into the corner, helping Loco get on Moo's shoulders.... CHICKEN'S CLUCK VERSION 2.0!!! SHOOTING STAR PRESS OVER MOO'S SHOULDERS!!! Loco with the cover!!! 1... 2... 3!!! [HUGE OVER THE TOP EXPLOSION OF HAPPINESS!!!] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | WINNER: Cow and Chicken | | | | FINISH: Chicken's Cluck Version 2.0 | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Loco leaps to his feet, instantly hugging "Da Cow God" who smile says it all! The hug ends quickly, as the barnyard animals exit the ring... only to go over to the bucket of fried chicken! The BSCW legends pick the bucket up, and begin to walk around ringside... HANDING OUT CHICKEN TO EVERYONE!!! After a lap, the duo go up the ring steps and take the bucket into the ring! The begin lebrating their victory, with _EVERYONE_ eating fried chicken!!!! Well not everyone... AS JOSH MANNING AND MAX STUDD GET INTO THE RING, ARMED WITH CHAIRS! The crowd erupts with rage, as the members of PPA swing for the fences... AND CONNECT! The barnyard animals go down, as PPA doesn't relent! One chair shot after another, as Max begins to call out to Lance, who groggily appears at ringside. He slowly rolls into the ring, as the garbage begins to be thrown without regard for any clean up crew! Max and Josh point to the stack of tables that remain, but first Josh hands the Studd brothers... CHAINS!?!?! The Studd brothers hook the chains around Cow and Chicken's neck, choking them as they pull 'em to their feet. Lance begins to just drag Loco around the ring, before deciding to hip toss him over the top rope, and hang him with the chain... LANCE IS CHOKING THE CHICKEN!!! The crowd is not happy at all, the garbage just continuing to rain down! Max doesn't miss a beat either, fully wrapping the chain around Moo's neck, trying to completely cut off all air. Max gets Moo down to the ground, and on his belly, digging his knee into "Da Cow God's" back, really wrenching back with the chains. Josh, and Omar roam the ring, just taunting the crowd. WHERE'S YER CRACK WHORE! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WHERE'S YER CRACK WHORE! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WHERE'S YER CRACK WHORE! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WHERE'S YER CRACK WHORE! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP WHERE'S YER CRACK WHORE! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP PPA doesn't even flinch. In fact, it seems to only cause Josh, and Omar to scream little louder. Lance pulls Loco back into the ring by the chain, and calls out to Max, pointing to the stack of tables remaining. Lance lets go of the end of the chain, picking Loco up and carrying him over the side of the ring.. Lance tosses Loco right up on to the top table! Max follows suit, rolling Moo out of the ring, and then rolling him right onto the lower table! He gives Moo a few punches before rolling back into the ring..... And then.. THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!!! THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!!! THE ARENA IS PITCH BLACK!!!! ...THE LIGHTS ARE ON!!! THE LIGHTS ARE ON!!! THE LIGHTS ARE ON!!! And Cow and Chicken are no where to be seen, the tables remain there, empty....... BUT THE PPA HAS A SURPRISE AS RYAN FUCKING DELANEY IS IN THE RING, WITH A BARBWIRE BAT IN HAND!!!! WWWWHHHHHHAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK! Down goes Omar! WWWWHHHHHHAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK! Down goes Manning! WWWWHHHHHHAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK! Down goes Max! WWWWHHHHHHAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK! Down goes Lance! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! [The crowd continues to roar, as Delaney calls for a microphone, picking his bat back up. Now people notice a backup slung around Delaney's shoulders.] DELANEY: I Know... I _KNOW_! I'ma fucking hypocrite! I just said last week that I wouldn't be out here to play good owner, evil owner! That I was putting life inside these ropes behind me... But I also said something else.... [WHACK to Manning who was starting to move.] DELANEY: I said... If I wanted to get inside these ropes, and whoop yer asses.... I would! And what can I say... TONIGHT I FUCKING FELT LIKE IT!!!! [FACE POP, as Delaney gives another WHACK to Omar who was stirring as well.] DELANEY: Not because I wanted too... Not because I really, really wanted to get my revenge, not at all... BUT BECAUE YOU PIECES OF TRASH FUCKING MADE ME! [WHACK!! Shot for max! WHACK!!! Shot for Lance!] DELANEY: The _whole_ night, trying to act like bullies... Trying to force your will on people, playing the fucking numbers game. Guess what, fellas? THAT SHIT DON'T FLY HERE! [Delaney whistles, as... COW AND CHICKEN APPEAR FROM UNDER THE RING! The crowd goes even louder as the BSCW legends enter the ring.] DELANEY: That's why, Max... Lance... Omar.... Josh... AND WHEREVER YOUR CRACKWHORE IS!!!!! [Delaney just smiles.] DELANEY: I had to put my foot down, and make sure you guys get the message loud and clear. And as a _part_ of that message, I have news for you... I had an idea come to me early this week, and I really.. really _LOVED_ my idea. I wanted to share it with the whole wide world. BUT... [WHACK! Nother shot for Lance! WHACK! Nother shot for Max!] DELANEY: I knew if I shared my idea.... That you guys would be encouraged to cheat your way to victory even more than _NORMAL_! I figured if I kept my just to myself, tonight we would be able to see who wanted it more... who's heart was more in the fight. It would be about _PRIDE_, and that my friends...... is what _CHAMPIONS_ are made of!!! [Delaney drops to a knee, setting his bat down, and digging through his backpack..... PULLING OUT THE DERP STEEL CITY TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP BELTS! The crowd goes _INSANE_ as Delaney tosses the titles to Cow and Chicken!] COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP DELANEY: AND YER FIRST MOTHERFUCKING EVER D-E-R-P STEEL CITY TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS........ "DA COW GOD".... EVERYONE IN THE ARENA: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DELANEY: and _EL POLLA LOCO_.... And they are known as... EVERYONE IN THE ARENA: _COW_ _AND_ _CHICKEN_!!!!!!!! [Delaney drops the mic as the crowd roars!] COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP COW AND CHICKEN! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP The barnyard animals are just floored! Loco is in the center of the ring, on his knees just starring at his mask's reflection on it's gold. Moo holds his high in the air, stomping around the ring, mooing at the top of his lungs! The fans continue to applaud, cheer and whistle, loving this moment in DERP history! Delaney gives each member of PPA another kick before grabbing his bat and exiting the ring. He slaps a few high fives as he heads to the back. Moo grabs the rest of the chicken, and his little buddy and heads out of the ring.. right into the crowd! There the BSCW legends again begin to share their chicken with the remaining members of the crowd, taking pictures with their newly won titles! ______________________________________________________ THOUGHTS? REACTIONS? SPEAK YOUR MIND RIGHT HERE: http://z13.invisionfree.com/DERP_Forum/index.php?showforum=4